Max Clifford, you should be ashamed of yourself. Do you repeatedly let your client disgrace herself on TV 'cause you're bad at your job, or 'cause you know it'll set the press wheel alight and have people tuning in to MTV to see further crashes?

Kerry Katona rolled her surgically enhanced bones into slur at Fern Britton and Philip Scofield on the set of This Morning, eh, this morning. And it's safe to say she was a little on the inebriated side for the latter hours of the AM.

Paul posted a clip of the carnage on Best of The Web. It commences just after Philip points out the obvious, saying: "You don't seem right to me, you've got the body sorted but your speech is a bit slurred, how are you feeling?" The rest speaks for itself. Choice comments include her answering "Nowhere, really" when asked where she was going in life, and this gem regarding her expanding family: "Molly, being 7, is like a mother hen, she does all - most of work. More than I do. She wants to help out, change nappies, so it's great."

Grim, is what it is. Almost as grim as the bemused picture of her, nude, on the front of Zoo Magazine.