Coronation Street: The most satisfying thing about Corrie this week? Tyrone getting justice? Kirsty getting banged up? Nah. It had to be Julie getting a smack in the gob. Her holier than thou protestations have been rather jarring, so we were delighted to see someone finally shutting her up. Fiz, Ty and the trial were just added bonuses, though we could have done without the overly cheesy reunion. Meanwhile, down at the hospital, Karl planted the spare keys to the Rovers on a critically ill Sunita, Gloria taunted Dev while he wept for his former missus, and Stella started to fall back under her ex's spell. Spare us, please. The image of Beth's red cami is something else we could have done without. Elsewhere Chesney moped about, asked Eva out, and Roy's ma got a bout of the munchies.
Emmerdale: Oh Cameron, we wondered how long it would be before your murderous tendencies returned, and Robbie surely put them to the test this week! Speaking of murder, Jai seemed pretty close to knocking Declan's block off when he headed up to Home Farm on Monday night. Trust clueless Katie to lack the cop on needed to figure out that her fella had been cheating. Jai was a bit quick to cast the first stone though, with the illegitimate fruit of his loins floating about with his mammy. Rachel told her baby daddy to forget about seeing his son, moving Sam in quickly to avoid any trouble. And speaking of trouble, the shit hit the fan for Alicia, what with Pollard copping that his young fella wasn't quite over his fake missus, and Belle learned to keep her clothes on the hard way.
EastEnders: Bianca Jackson is a rather unfortunate soul. If she's not banged up in prison, she's being abandoned by her fella, and now she's only gone and driven her son into the arms of a gang. Oh B, when will you learn that screaming at something doesn't make it all better? Anyway young Liam spent the week trying to prove himself to his new 'brothers', only to discover they really didn't like him all that much in the end. Who knew? And after his mammy spent the week 'dahn the Old Bill', trying to decide whether or not she'd grass him up, he decided he really didn't like her all that much either. Elsewhere, Poppy's trip to the auction ended in tears, what with those tatty suitcases bringing everyone a bit of a bad news, and forcing Dot to reveal her woes to FatBoy, while Jean and Ian went head to head in Walford's own Great British Bake Off.
Fair City: So Judith finally gave Tommy the old heave ho, and he wasn't too happy about it. Neither was Caoimhe, who we were happy enough to imagine had disappeared forever, but no such luck. Speaking of people we can't stand, Wayne and Eddie has a bit of a turbulent week, as they decided to hack Dolores. Wayne got cold feet at the last minute, but sure hadn't not so steady Eddie already cracked the safe? Paul Brennan, aka Carrigstown's answer to Donald Trump, continued to taunt his hapless neighbour. That, we could really do without. Meanwhile Paddy Bishop wormed his way into his young wan's good books, by giving her a picture he made for her in prison. Seems young Charlotte doesn't care if he beat her mammy, and she's picked up the 'oul dialect rather fast. And there were were thinking the Doyle girls were the only ones who said Da.