Coronation Street: What did we learn on the cobbles this week then eh kids? oh yea, lie about your parents beating six shades into you and you'll get your own way. Seriously, how Anna didn't explode at the incredibly annoying Faye is beyond us, and we doubt letting her get away with the whole thing scott free will do much for the young wan's rehabilitation. She didn't even say sorry! Meanwhile, Gary continued to act like a right creep around Tina. She may be carrying his baby, but this is getting beyond weird. Elsewhere, Eileen and Paul called it quits, Julie went mad for the oul excursions, and Mary fancied herself as a bit of a nanny, going as far as to send the competition packing with a few false allegations about their prospective employers.
EastEnders: "Oh hi there Janine babes, how have you been? We missed you so much", said nobody ever. We doubt the sassy siren was actually expecting a warm welcome from her hubby, but sure didn't her b*tchtastic comeback keep us all thoroughly entertained? Eh, not really. We're getting a bit tired of the Janine Butcher power struggles. Speaking of wagons, hair extensions let Max, Tanya and Lauren think she was up the Hilary, only to reveal to Kat that she'd faked the whole thing. So, for once, Tan, it's really not what it looks like. Meanwhile, Sharon recovered from her wedding disaster, and Alice made a bit of a tit of herself...
Emmerdale: Not content with failing to show up to her young wan's wedding, Brenda only went and collapsed on the big day to boot. After a mad dash to the hospital, she finally realised that she did want the operation after all, because she didn't want to miss out on Molly growing up. But nothing is ever that simple in the Dales now is it? Meanwhile, the new badass Debbie Dingle is giving every bunny boiler in TV and film history a run for their money, taking things to the next level with Chas. Sure there's nothing like traumatising a few kiddies to get your way now, is there Debs? You know things are bad when even Charity Dingle is shocked by your antics love. Reign it in.
Fair City: With mammies well and truly screwed over by Eddie and Wayne over the past couple of weeks, the past few days in Carrigstown were devoted to daddy issues. First up, we discovered that Paul Brennan had yet another possible illegitimate child *yawn*, a revelation that we could quite frankly have done without. How many times will they pull that storyline out of the bag? Paul crossed paths with Paddy Bishop when their young wans got into a bit of a scuffle - in reality, Charlotte knocked Rachel over by accident - and the boys got a little rough down an alley *snort*. Speaking of Paddy, Decco took his side against his ma this week, while Charlotte saw the other side of her eh, doting daddy.