Coronation Street: The one and only Chesney lost the second love of his life (we can't forget Schmeichel) this week, and we can't say we're feeling too sorry for him. What did he expect? Little Katy to be content to have her phone searched daily? Speaking of his missus, it seems as though she's set for quite the romance with young Ryan. Wonder how he'll handle changing nappies now. Meanwhile, her big sister was having a few relationship issues of her own. That whole Gary and Tina storyline finally took the expected leap forward this week, with poor Tommy copping that all wasn't good in the hood. Would they ever just put those two back together? It'd be far more believable in fairness. And Mary earned her Poppins umbrella, by completely taming Asha and Aadi: As long as they don't set her up with Dev we'll be happy...
EastEnders: Bianca had another woeful week (what's new?) as the gang caught up with little Liam. We could have done without having to look at Kane's mug again though, and we're not quite sure what he was doing with that toy care. Bianca made sure we'd seen the last of Ben Mitchell 2.0 though, and young Liam headed off for a long awaited catch up with his darling daddy. Meanwhile, Janine announced her return to the world, and nobody really cared. That was, until she started selling sob stories to Billy and Lola. Looks like Michael will have some battle on his hands to keep baby Scarlett. He really should just run away with Alice while he can. Elsewhere, hair extensions told everyone that herself and Max were having a baby, and after a few tears and tantrums, Max's other kiddies said they were fine with it. That worked out well, considering she's not even up the duff.
Emmerdale: Dark Debbie took control this week, and headed off to a secluded barn with every intention of sending Auntie Chas to meet her maker. We're not quite sure about this new 'evil' streak of hers. It's all bit too Albert Square for the Dales, wha? Meanwhile, back in the village, Rachel decided that good old Megan Macey needed a slap across the face, after she kicked the girls out of the gaf. That's what you get for messing with Rachel's family. Speaking of, Charity finally worked out that Jai was Archie's daddy this week. About time! But of course, just when we thought the shit had finally hit the fan, they landed us with a rather startling surprise: Big daddy Rishi stepped in to say Archie was his... Yes. Because we could totally see how Charity would swallow that explanation.
Fair City: Caoimhe Dillon shot right back to the top of our most hated list this week, when she wailed at her mammy for falling in love with her uncle. Tommy's reign of terror/terrible acting doesn't show any signs of letting up either, with the Kilkenny farmer getting more twisted by the hour. Seriously, they sent his son back down to the marble city, would they not let his daddy follow? Meanwhile Paul discovered that Callum was indeed his, adding another illegitimate child to his ever expanding list: Next thing you know he'll be shacking up with Vivienne Bishop. Speaking of our Viv, she was a bit upset when Ray didn't invite her to Ruth's Christening, And there we were thinking that love was in the air... It does seem to be the case over at Chez Fahy though, where Joe and Dermot locked lips after he punched Tommy's lights out. We never thought we'd say this, but we love you Dermot.