If you've only time to read a one line review of last night's First Dates Ireland, here it is - none of the ladies were having any of it... Some of the men may have been smitten (or simply trying to save their dates' blushes, which is doubtful), but the women were just not that into them. And it's not as if they had extremely high standards. 

Take Dia for example; a 35-year-old Navan resident of Cuban / Russian descent, who "doesn't eat much" but really enjoys taking photos of her food... She finds Irish men attractive, which is always a good start. She also had two other prerequisites when it comes to potential dates; they must be over 21 (preferably closer to her age, as she was looking for something more serious) and they must have a clean record...

Despite warming to Damien (35, from Limerick) after he declared he was a professional skydiver, he then proceeded to blow things with Dia by actually ringing his mummy during the date. Why? To make her say he was her favourite son. 
 

Needless to say, when it came to the crunch, Dia wasn't that interested. A sentiment that she took several minutes to impart after they were asked "Would you see each other again." Really, instead of spouting 'I'll go first, I don't mind" followed by a load of simpering platitudes regarding what a 'nice' a man he was, she should've just bolted. 

Those who didn't get the green light for a second date, despite looking like they were having a whale of a time include 74-year-old Tony from Dublin and 75-year-old Lexie from Belfast. Tony's tale was one of lost love and heartache after he shared the story of the love of his life dying from cancer when she was only in her 40s. We were willing him and Lexie to hit it off, but - alas - his incessant quips about sex, bondage and knitting needles left Lexie cold/scared seven shades of bejaysis out of her.

35-year-old mother of three, Michelle, and 33-year-old father of one, Stuart, (both of which have been single for about 4 years) also seemed to hit it off - despite her being "NUTS". But, alas, Michelle and her giggles just didn't see him "in a romantic way"... Stuart quipped "That's great! Cause that's why we were here, to get more friends, yaaaay" but he clearly felt otherwise...


 

Those who did (seemingly) hit it off on the night included Adam (from Dublin) and Laura (from Cork), which was quite the feat considering they didn't get off to the best of starts, with the Dubliner making a rookie mistake within the first minutes of meeting. 

After a false start, and Laura banging on about eyeliner and a rogue pair of shoes, the make up artist and the SNA decided to go for cocktails after their meal. Although Laura didn't look too thrilled.

The couple that stole our hearts, however, were self-confessed "odd duck" Martin and "I'm like an extra toe, just awkward" Cian from Kilkenny. On this occasion the couple actually bonded over bondage thanks to waitress Alice and her chains. 

As well as stealing each other's hearts, they (ok, so mostly Cian) also stole ours... *sighs*