Still trying to get over Electric Picnic, (yes I know it was ages ago, but I'm getting old) I found myself sitting in on a Saturday night watching the X Factor, while most people who actually had lives, were having fun in the boozer. What makes it even sadder is that I watched it again on Sunday, while being a domestic goddess. I've recently moved out of home you see so I'm trying to learn the ropes of cleaning and washing my own clothes, which means I had a total of four hours ironing to do, so why not have Cheryl, Simon, Louis and Pixie Lott keep me company.
The auditions were in Cardiff and London (again) and it was the toughest round of auditions I've ever seen. Granted there were a few messer's like Bun 'nd Cheese, aka Pinkie, Patty and Pees....aka Mary, Ebony and Debbie. The three girls compared themselves to Beyonce and the Sugababes. and explained why the called themselves after a sandwich (it was because they eat buns and cheese all the time) They were taking on 'Listen' by Beyonce, a stellar and magnificent song. As the music started, they began chatting amongst themselves about who was going to sing what. A clear indication it was going to be a disaster. Actually, it was worse then that, it was more like a soul wrenching embarrassment; even their mates were mortified for them, telling Dermot it was 'shocking' and 'disgraceful'. They didn't know any of the words. It HAD to have been a dare.
But, it has to be said that the three auditions which stood out were from a young cinema employee Paije Richardson, Tom Richard's and a very cocky Nicolo Festa. First up, Paije. He sang 'Fly me to the Moon' by Frank Sinatra and in all honesty, he did a great job. It wasn't perfect but was worth three yes's for sure. However, Simon and Cheryl didn't seem to get it. They enjoyed the song, but Mr Cowell said he thought he was at a wedding at one stage. Disappointed with his comments, Paije found some comfort in Louis Walsh. The Irish music mogul gave him huge praise, complimenting him on his good voice but stating he needed a lot of work. When it came to receiving his verdict, the young lad wasn't put through to bootcamp. Shocking, was not expecting it at all. But he found a friend in our Louie who ran after him backstage and asked him to come back with a different song. At the end of the day he returned to sing 'This is a man's world' and so received his three yes tickets to the next round.
16 year-old Tom Richard's also hoped this was his opportunity to make his mark in the world, along with his family of what seemed to amount to the entire population of his small village. In front of the three main judges, and guest judge Pixie Lott, he sang The Script's 'The Man That Can't Be Moved'. His voice was good but the dance moves, well, he should have just stood still. Unimpressed by his first song and what with Simon declaring there is no room in the market for a boy like him, he was asked to sing another song, with no swanky hip thrusting as before. He began belting out 'This Is The Moment' and he showed he's got one heck of a voice. When he was done I was convinced he had done the deal and signed on the dotted line. Once again, like before, Louis fought his corner (hmmm I wonder why?) saying yes, Simon was a neddy no no, Cheryl paused, but eventually said yes and Pixie? She certainly likes the drama doesn't she? Going with her gut she said no, causing the crowd to irrupt into boos and Louis to almost cry like a lost boy. After much persuasion from Mr Walsh along with 10,000 chants of 'Please Say yes', Tom's frown was tipped upside down and he was given a lifeline. Emotional doesn't come close to describing the aftermath, how can a show play with our emotions like this? *dabs eyes*
Finally, let's look at the Italian who came across cocky, thought he was god's gift and had very high expectations of himself. As his intro played, (with Salt n Pepper's 'What A Man' in the background) I became convinced this guy was going to be so bad, he would make my dog sound like Pavarotti. At one stage he tried to have eye sex with the camera by stating he wanted to give people the goose-bumps with the mere mention of his name. Pahaha, I wish I could meet these people in real life. I won't go through everything in detail, but I will mention that Cheryl looked as if she was constantly swooning as he stood before her, as the main point here is that he had an outstanding voice, shaky at the start, but a very talented man. So, you can look forward to hearing more self-indulgent comments from him at bootcamp, Yipppeee (please note the sacrasm)
-Alicia Coyle
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