Another week of X Factor, another 4 hours spent drooling over Gary Barlow. And that's 4 hours EXCLUDING the Xtra Factor. SYCO, it would seem, have gone full throttle in their attempt to hijack our entire weekend, spreading even these initial auditions over two nights long nights. Cheers for that!
Endeavouring to win over the judges this week and secure their place at boot camp were a whole host of auditionees, both talented and talent challenged. On Saturday night there was Kendro. Two flamboyant young men who can't sing, can't dance and can't dress themselves. This pair looked like transvestite Barbie dolls that had fallen victim to a head shave only to be later dipped in pink. With neon hair, lipstick and plucked to be-jaysus eyebrows, their murdering of Ga Ga's Born This Way somehow got them through to to the next round, much to Gazza's bitter disappointment: "Guys, for me you're everything this competition doesn't need. I'm always interested in why someone comes on and they're putting lipstick on and they've dyed their hair, and it's because you've got no talent at all." I couldn't have agreed more. Remniscent of a far less talented younger version of last year's Diva Fever, I guess we'll see them in the finals!
Then there was 'too thick to do anything else' tabloid fodder Samantha Brookes. (Samantha's landed herself among the red tops' pages revealing how her mum walked out on her at 15. *Sob story cha-ching!*) While she might have skinned a number of African animals for the sake of that horrendous multi printed outfit - not even a Vogue model could make that leopard print trilby a la Steps circa 1999 look good darling - her voice more than made up for it even if it was still a tad karaoke.
To read Caroline's full review, head on over to our dedicated X Factor page...