Now you may think this is an undercover Dispatches-style video, but no, this a promo video for an actual nightclub that really exists in 2014 and it is everything that is wrong with the world.
The oh-so-enticingly named 'Bounce By The Ounce' night in Rumes Nightclub, Preston in the UK is like something straight out of the '90s and also our collective nightmares.
And again because it's all you want to see/will haunt you forever, that man in GIF form.
We're just going to leave this here.