Isn't the wee one a conundrum? He wants to be seen as a 40-year-old man, yet invites (specifically) Michelle to catch him while he hurls himself off a box in a tiny teddy suit (and, yes Carole, he's the bulb off the Bo Selecta Bear). He works that whole "adorable" side to him as he knows it endears him to people. This most likely explains the bouts of simmering rage which bubble forth from time to time.
What have we learned about him since he's been in the house? He likes doing things for himself, yet doesn't mind the odd spin off Michelle's hip. He is the only person Coolio takes seriously, probably because Verne's the only one who knows how to cut him down in a deadpan fashion during conversations. He does not like repeating himself, and he does not like Ulrika - to the point where he'll argue with her over something she didn't say. Case and point being last night's roundabout conversation regarding Ulrika's suggestion that LaToya might eat different cuts of salmon. He was in the wrong yet he wouldn't back down, leaving Ulrika looking like she was going to dropkick him, and quickly departing to have a meltdown in the bedroom, where the other two coven members were reluctant to comfort her (both Mutya and Tina were tucked up in bed, until the latter - and her left mammary - leapt out to dutifully deploy "the hug"). And, if last night's live footage was anything to go by (moi, sucked in?), the man can't handle his booze, which is fair enough considering he weighs in the region of 30lb.
Big Brother must've felt sorry for the housemates - having to deal with a meagre budget for yet another week and Coolio and Tina shouting about it - so they threw a party after giving them letters from their loved ones. Several glasses of champers later, and Verne is swaying in the region of his bed, spouting such sh*te at LaToya as: "Your smile is so much special. Let me tell you seriously. When you smile you do so much more than the overall thing. You might have the whole thing. These people who want to get involved, f**k them." He then repeatedly ignored calls to go the Diary Room, instead insisting he was hoisted onto his scooter so he could career around the sitting room in circles, before trying it on with Mutya (in full Pete Burns mode). When he finally did make it out to the hall with the aid of Coolio (honestly, Verne was treating him like his b*tch), he rammed full throttle into the Diary Room door. It's the deadpan deliveries, his unwittingly cute demeanor (mostly while in costume) and his drink driving which could well see him winning the competition... as long as he doesn't cross the line, like he did on the Surreal Life, and piddle all over the joint.
Last Night's Highlights: Ben having to hide for 20 minutes, in a novelty dinosaur costume, under a blanket and behind a chair before someone came near him... Ben saying he's going to "watch all this back to back when I get out" - at least he's aware of the state of his career... LaToya falling over during her piano task with Mutya... Tina saying to Terry they had nothing to worry about regarding getting over 80,000 hits on their ballet video: "I'm ON Channel Four right now. I've got a show on Channel 4 right now. Ulrika and Verne aren't on Channel 4 (I think you'll find they are...)"... Tina then hearing her and Terry's video didn't even get half as many hits as Ulrika and Verne's duet (thus proving the lure of a tiny man in costume), only for her to day "Didn't I say we'd only get 30 or 40 thousand?!"... Last Night's Lowlights: The continuous stream of tears... The perilously near appearance of Tina's left bap... What We Can Expect Tonight: More tears, alongside much scally like shouting from Tina and Coolio... I wish I could be more specific but it's far too close to call and none of them are doing themselves any favours.
UPDATE: Tina got the boot Friday (which was a surprise) and Mutya then decided to walk despite only having, at most, another week to go. It's unclear as to whether she'll still get her fee - which is said to be in the region of £75,000. They could stick me in a vat of bile for three weeks, with nothing but a nude Tina Malone and a bag of her toe nails for company for £75k.