Spencer has dropped the mother superior of all shockers... The Hills was fake *whispers* how can that beeee? Next thing you know, he'll say Pratt is his makey up name *gibbers*
This is what he's had to say on reputable source, Twitter, over the last few days:
"I love Heidi but our marriage was a show - it was part of The Hills world. And that world is on a sound stage."
This was the most coherent of all his thoughts; he posted the following on the pages of MTV and Lauren Conrad.
"@mtv I got served with divorce papers? I thought that preacher at the wedding was one of the actors like my paid friends and family & exWIFE"
"@mtv This whole time I have really been married? I thought we did that for ratings?"
"@mtv Heidi left me seasons ago! Hello! she just didn't have beefy LC to film with anymore so she had to be stuck with King Spencer! Sucker"
"@laurenconrad beefy now your dreams and prays have come true so now your free to try and date my ex-wife! SEE you in MALIBU @ BUI beefy LC"
Ah, so that's why Lauren stared slack-jawed and moo-eyed at Whitney for far too many episodes. That or she's paid Spencer money to give her some level of depth. As for what he'll do with the money, that's anyone's guess. I'd wager he's put it towards a life-sized smokey quartz statue honed in his likeness. Failing that, perhaps a few nice animal pelts to sleep on in the woods.