The Fox Teen Choice Awards ceremony must last the guts of 18 hours. There are 27 awards handed out just for the music categories alone. The list of winners can be summarised in two words. ' Justin' and 'Bieber'. As for the movie awards, there were in excess of 37 awards handed out, the winners of which can be whittled down to one word: 'Twilight'. Seemingly there was a sports/modelling category too, why else would David Beckham be clutching one of the coveted - and not at all cumbersome - surf board accolades?
Nah, instead of a long laborious list of winners, we're going to just ogle the attendees. Some of which are, quite frankly, are disappearing before our very eyes. Hello to you Lea Michelle, Emma Roberts and Cat Deeley. OK, Emma's been under a lot of stress at the minute, what with her father choosing to appearing on Celebrity Rehab (so much so that she's gone lurid green goth), so that might explain her wane appearance. In that case, we'll leave her off for the time being. As for the other pair; Lea, if you get any skinner you'll amount to nowt more than lips and hair. Cat, thank you for pointing out that your wallet is well wider than your thigh, now go forage for some carbs.
Portraying such near unattainable physiques to a legion of teenagers probably doesn't send a great message to them. Much like the arrival of a family who've handed a reality TV show on the back of one of the more tanned drones partaking in dodgy sex tape. Or the presence of a guy who knocked up Sarah Palin's teen daughter. He pretended he wanted to marry her, but Bristol broke off the engagement (for a second time) there last week. We also heard the cast of Jersey Shore turned up (sadly WENN didn't catch them on the red carpet). Why did the cast featuring a load of (I sound like a granny) drunken horny layabouts turn up to the Fox Teen Choice Awards? Well, they were up for a few of the million awards being handed out. Appropriate, Fox.
In other 'wrong' occurrences, Joshua Jackson arrived with someone other than Diane Kruger; Megan Fox pretended to have a hoop, then tried to grin innocently, before resorting to the face she's best known for, followed by this... Ashley Greene's boob; Cory Monteith's ode to the Blues Brothers; Kevin McHale's cranial ensemble; Leighton Meester's bedroom slippers; Jim Parson's face (smiling doesn't become you, Sheldon); the length of this; almost everything about this; and this full stop...
And breathe.
Also featured: additional slightly differentiable lollipops in the form of Terri Seymour, Nina Dobrev, Selena Gomez, and Jayma Mays.