I always wondered how Davina felt gleefully gurning "All your grey, Mum!" while doing those L'Oreal Garnier hair dye ads. If you weren't aware, mother and daughter didn't have the best relationship, which is par for the course when you're abandoned in a club as a prepubescent.
"There was warm, loving, cuddly, secure England and then there was my mum. Unbelievably exciting to be around, if you're not her child. My mum was hot. She was a show stopper. Not great when you're a teenager and your mother is hotter than you are, or when she goes clubbing with you and leaves you in the club. I was 12. She left me in a nightclub on my own, looking like a lamb dressed as mutton - young, trying to look old... She drank a lot. And from an early age I knew she was smoking 'magic' cigarettes. She called them 'magic' but I knew exactly what they were from about eight. My mum was a very exciting and lovely person. She shouldn't have had kids because she was still a big kid herself."
95% of the population should be sterilised, in which case.