Apologies, but I'm stuck in a "damned if you do damned if you don't" scenario given it's strewn across a fair whack of today's tabloids.
All I'll say is, what a bunch of top tugging t*ts. Literally. And stripper heels. And hair extensions. And unashamed home wreckers who carry on with their brothers-in-law for 8 years. And disturbing sorts. No wonder Sonia off EastEnders sprouted tears of joy when Denise Welch arrived. For any impressionable minds watching/reading - real women, with brains devoted to proper jobs, don't look like this, this, this, or these. Real women have careers don't tend to end their days locked in an attic wailing at one rank looking portrait. They also don't talk about their chest glands constantly. They just generally have a lot more going on.
In short, Gareth, Sonia and Denise should reach the final; Michael Madsen will engage in some misogynistic rant at some point; Sonia will hold back Frankie's mop while he vomits into the hot tub; and Calum Best will land in and have a scrap with Georgia's future love interest/career conduit Kirk Towie. Still, it's a step up from having lipstick on your teeth in Aer Lingus' Sky Shopping magazine.
That is all. All further Big Brother coverage will be terminated before publishing.