In fact, what D'Arcy said on his show there was "I wouldn't like to have Simon Cowell as a husband or a father," but we couldn't fit that into our title box. It's invariably a sentiment echoed across the land (and possibly reciprocated by Simon).
The remark was instigated by the shawking news that Simon Cowell has admitted that he's not arsed being too hands on with his son until he's old enough - presumably to appreciate what an amazing man he is.
Speaking with Hello magazine, the X Factor mogul said: "I'm going to be honest - I’m not exactly a hands on dad. I want to fast forward a few years so I can take him go-karting and then introduce him to women. There are a few years to go yet... I’m probably in a far better position to be a father now than I would have been ten years ago. That’s the way I’d look at it. And at the end of the day we have really great nannies that are bloody amazing so I don’t have to worry."
Apart from the small matter of bonding with your little bundle. That really should be a worry. As D'Arcy pointed out, it's the first three years of a child's life that bears the most impact on what kind of person they will become. Still, at least little Eric will have the litany of twitter pics of him and his dad to look back on.
As for being Simon's other half, Ray didn't relish that prospect either for obvious reasons: "I’m the only iconic bachelor left in the entire world - thanks for that George Clooney! I think it’s a title I’ll keep for a while longer if I’m honest. I’ve never said no to marriage but then again I couldn’t imagine having a kid at one point and now look at me. I guess I was always nervous I may not end up getting on particularly well with the person I was going to have a kid with and I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. The fact is, our baby wasn’t planned was actually the best thing for us to have done and we’re very happy now."