Footballer, blah, teenager hooker, bleh, fiance still wearing engagement ring, burble, etc, you know the drill at this stage.
This time, it's the turn of poor Abigail Clancy, who really didn't see it coming. Spurs/England footballer Peter Crouch - who she's agreed to marry based purely on his aesthetics - has been caught with a 19-year-old Algerian hooker, who he enjoyed a dalliance with while in the back of a cab in Madrid. They then took the proceedings inside to "a cheap hotel". Speaking of the event, one Monica Mint said: "Peter had no hesitation in paying (€1000) for sex with me. He wasn't nervous."
Upon hearing the news, Abbey took time out from setting the world of presenting alight (she's currently got a slot on This Morning, in which Eamonn 'I offend easily' Holmes tries not to sneak a peek up her skirt) to put a call through to Peter. One of The Sun's many, many sources reports:
"She screamed at him calling him every name under the sun. Crouchy's a big lad but she made him feel 2ft tall. He was pleading with her to forgive him, saying he still loved her like crazy. He tried to calm her with some tall story - but she was having none of it. She yelled 'You b******, how could you do this to me?' (um, he's a footballer?) Abbey was livid someone she was madly in love with treated her so badly. She found out the true extent of what he'd done while she was filming in Manchester (plug, plug, plug) and rang in a blind rage. She feels hurt, angry and humiliated and is considering whether they have a future."
How did Peter deal with all this stress? He took a leaf out of the Woods book of infidelity and took to the golf course: "Peter went on the course to get away from it all. He thinks they can get through this and Abbey will forgive him like Toni Terry did with John."
Adultery is inexcusable, bladdy, blurby, blib, etc, but there's quite the difference between having an affair with your mate's girlfriend, and paying some poor desperate money to insert yourself in a place where countless other questionable members have been before. The jury's out on which is worse.
If the scenario follows the course it usually does; Abbey will forgive, forget, bring the wedding date forward, and then pop out some child support fodder within the next year. Or she could to the wise thing and concentrate on her career - which is just taking off. A cynical sort could suggest that the Cole effect is being employed here. She'll be struck down with a nasty bout of cholera next.