Indeed Simon Cowell has the boys contractually strung by the nethers to perform on The X Factor whenever the whimsy takes him, so presumably that's the reason they were unable to attend last night's MTV EMA's in Glasgow last night (red carpet rundown available here. The Hoff played a blinder).

They weren't the only ones who failed to turn up... the other 'big winners' from the night - Katy Perry, 5 Seconds of Summer, Justin Bieber and Beyonce were also collectively washing their hair. At least Bieber managed to tweet.

One Direction took home three awards for Best Pop, Best Live and Biggest Fans at the increasingly defunct ceremony. The band recorded a video message to accept their award on behalf of their loyal Directioners for Biggest Fans, but 21-year-old Zayn Malik was missing from the screen. Perhaps he was off enjoying some chicken.

Harry mumbled: "We're so sorry we can't be with you tonight. Thank you so much for this, the award for Biggest Fans. Because of that we obviously, obviously want to thank our incredible fans - thank you so, so much for all your support. We can never thank you all enough."

Problem hitmaker Ariana Grande, 5 Seconds Of Summer and Katy Perry all picked up two awards each.

Justin Bieber, host Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé were amongst the other winners.

The full list of winners at the 2014 MTV EMA is as follows:

Best Song: Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea - Problem

Best Pop: One Direction

Best Female: Ariana Grande

Best Male: Justin Bieber

Best Live: One Direction

Best New: 5 Seconds Of Summer

Best Video: Katy Perry feat. Juicy J - Dark Horse

Best Rock: Linkin Park

Best Alternative: Thirty Seconds To Mars

Best Hip-Hop: Nicki Minaj

Best Electronic: Calvin Harris

Biggest Fans: One Direction

Best Look: Katy Perry

Best Song With A Message: Beyoncé - Pretty Hurts

Best Push: 5 Seconds Of Summer?

Best World Stage: Enrique Iglesias - MTV World Stage Isle of MTV Malta

Best Worldwide Act: Bibi Zhou - SE Asia, Mainland China & Hong Kong, Taiwan

Global Icon: Ozzy Osbourne

Ozzy, of course, turned up. Nowt much else to be doing.


 
Photos: MTV EMA Red Carpet.... you know you're in trouble when The Hoff is the highlight