The most extraneous awards on the movie calendar took place in London's Wembley Arena last night - the National Movie Awards. Apologies, the L'Oreal Paris National Movie Awards. They're voted on by the public, which generally means Robert Pattinson and/or anything Twilight related wins.
This year, however, in the absence of Twilight, all the accolades went to Colin Firth and The King's Speech. The latter film won the 'Special Recognition Award' presented by Gwyneth Paltrow - who was apparently winched into the venue under the cover of darkness as the attached photo is the only one I could find of her.
As for the rest of the awards, well, there's little rhyme, reason or cohesion to any of them. For example, the Performance of The Year category has no less than 20 nominees, while there's also an award for films no one has seen yet. So, basically, the British Public were asked to become soothsayers while voting for the Must See Movie of The Summer...
The nominees and winners are below. If you're not arsed with them, you might want to stick with the red carpet gallery which contains a Pussycat Doll and her little lover (who wants to become "the first black Bond" by all accounts); Harry Potter peripherals; Geoffrey Rush (obviously pulled the short straw); Mandy Moore; JLS(namely Denise/Aston's sternum); Jessica Lowndes' sternum; Inbetweeners; Lampard and Bleakley (the latter presented the charade); Simon Pegg; Nick Frost; Shirley Bassey; Gavin; Jodie Whittaker's shoes; the worst kind of ex-X Factor fodder; an ill-fitting dress - just when you thought her ensembles couldn't get any short - Eliza Doolittle.
Hang on, we've yet to address the star of the event. Hello Ed Westwick. We're used to your enforced and hardly contrived 'Magnum' star, so thanks every so much for introducing your pinkie into the equation. What a ring piece.
Best Fantasy
Gulliver's Travels
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 - WINNER
The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Tron: Legacy
Best Drama
127 Hours
Black Swan
The King's Speech - WINNER
The Social Network
True Grit
Must See Movie of the Summer
Captain America: The First Avenger
Cars 2
Cowboys & Aliens
Green Lantern
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 - WINNER
Kung Fu Panda
Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
The Hangover Part II
The Smurfs
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
X-Men: First Class
Best Comedy
Due Date
Just Go With It
Little Fockers
Paul - WINNER
Best Animation
Despicable Me
Gnomeo & Juliet - WINNER
Megamind
Tangled
One to Watch: Brits Going Global
Riz Ahmed
Jamie Campbell Bower - WINNER
Henry Cavill
Luke Evans
Andrew Garfield
Tom Hardy
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Felicity Jones
Alex Pettyfer
Sam Riley
Andrea Riseborough
Ed Westwick
Performance of the Year
James Franco (127 Hours)
Zach Galifianakis (Due Date)
Jack Black (Gulliver's Travels)
Rupert Grint (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1)
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1)
Emma Watson (Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1)
Jennifer Aniston (Just Go With It)
Ben Stiller (Little Fockers)
Ben Barnes (The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader)
Georgie Henley (The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader)
Nick Frost (Paul)
Simon Pegg (Paul)
Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)
Colin Firth (The King's Speech) - WINNER
Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Jeff Bridges (Tron: Legacy/True Grit)
Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)
Special Recognition
The King's Speech
Screen Icon
Johnny Depp