Russell Brand wheeled himself out to host the MTV Movie Awards over the bank hollier weekend, and he stayed true to form prattling off such quips as "The last time I did an MTV show I ended up marrying someone. Tonight I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for my next wife." He also came out with such gems as: "I think Michael Fassbender should be roundly condemned for profiting from sex addiction. I did literally go to school with him and I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t notice his huge talent as I was too busy staring at his massive cock. I deliberately removed all erotic content from this monologue because he’s only there in the second row and, if I get him too aroused I may lose an eye” and summink about giving John Travolta a massage 'cause "he was so stiff."
Other (alleged) highlights from the night (I've managed to avoid the repeated repeats on MTV since airing [they're on again tonight at 10.30pm])) included Matthew McConaughey not getting his top off on stage, 'cause that's a rarity, and Johnny Depp taking to the stage to play two tracks with the Black Keys (he chose to do this over spouting an acceptance speech for his Generation Award), who turned up wearing fetching baby grows and freaky faces. We also had some kind of physical altercation between Charlize Theron and Fassbender. It appears Charlize won.
As for the winners list, it remains fairly standard - Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson winning Best Kiss, Harry Potter winning Best Cast despite the franchise ending what seems like a lifetime ago; The Hunger Games and Bridesmaids winning everything else... Winners are italicised below.
Movie of the Year
"Bridesmaids"
"The Hunger Games"
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"
"The Help"
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1"
Best Male Performance
Daniel Radcliffe, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"
Ryan Gosling, "Drive"
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "50/50"
Josh Hutcherson, "The Hunger Games"
Channing Tatum, "The Vow"
Best Female Performance
Jennifer Lawrence, "The Hunger Games"
Kristin Wiig, "Bridesmaids"
Emma Stone, "Crazy, Stupid, Love"
Emma Watson, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"
Rooney Mara, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
Best Comedic Performance
Melissa McCarthy, "Bridesmaids"
Kristen Wiig, "Bridesmaids"
Zach Galifianakis, "The Hangover Part II"
Jonah Hill, "21 Jump Street"
Oliver Cooper, "Project X"
Breakthrough Performance
Melissa McCarthy, "Bridesmaids"
Rooney Mara, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
Liam Hemsworth, "The Hunger Games"
Elle Fanning, "Super 8"
Shailene Woodley, "The Descendants"
Best Cast
"Bridesmaids"
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"
"The Hunger Games"
"21 Jump Street"
"The Help"
Best On-Screen Transformation
Elizabeth Banks, "The Hunger Games"
Rooney Mara, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
Johnny Depp, "21 Jump Street"
Michelle Williams, "My Week With Marilyn"
Colin Farrell, "Horrible Bosses"
Best Fight
Daniel Radcliffe vs. Ralph Fiennes, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"
Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson vs. Alexander Ludwig, "The Hunger Games"
Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill vs. Kid Gang, "21 Jump Street"
Tom Hardy vs. Joel Edgerton, "Warrior"
Tom Cruise vs. Michelle Nyqvist, "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol"
Best Kiss
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, "Crazy, Stupid, Love"
Rupert Grint and Emma Watson, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"
Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson, "The Hunger Games"
Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, "The Vow"
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1"
Best Gut-Wrenching Performance
"Bridesmaids" (Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McClendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper)
"The Help" (Bryce Dallas Howard)
"21 Jump Street" (Jonah Hill and Rob Riggle)
"Drive" (Ryan Gosling)
"Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" (Tom Cruise)
Best On-Screen Dirtbag
Bryce Dallas Howard, "The Help"
Jon Hamm, "Bridesmaids"
Jennifer Aniston, "Horrible Bosses"
Colin Farrell, "Horrible Bosses"
Oliver Cooper, "Project X"
Best Music
"Party Rock Anthem," LMFAO ("21 Jump Street")
"A Real Hero," College & Electric Youth ("Drive")
"The Devil Is in the Details," Chemical Brothers ("Hanna")
"Impossible," Figurine ("Like Crazy")
"Pursuit of Happiness," Kid Cudi (Steve Aoki remix) ("Project X")