If you're not currently watching I'm a Celebrity... might I suggest starting? Nope, I'm not being paid to endorse it or anything like that, it's just decent enough viewing (which speaks volumes), if only to watch Dom Joly's asides in that little shack they do their diaries in, or to survey Shaun Ryder's unique view on things, or simply watch both of them - and the rest of the camp (with the exception of Aggro, 'cause he's a mute) - tear Gillian a new one.
She's gotten her way, by the by. Producers have made her exempt from partaking in any further trials. Shame, I'll miss her blood curdling screams, frenzied body slapping, and her assortment of yammering about being phobic, and pregnant. Yes, in order to spring herself from jail, the 51-year-old announced she was pregnant. That particular rant wasn't aired as it was deemed "too unsettling to screen."
The Sun elaborates: "The frail Scot made the outlandish claim in a bid to get out of the jungle jail. Gillian, whose behaviour has become increasingly erratic, has also told other contestants she has been hearing voices and thought she had rabies. Show chiefs fear for her state of mind after she collapsed three times and was voted to do her eighth Bushtucker Trial... Mum-of-two Gillian (probably has them living in a bubble filled with chickpeas and mango smoothies) started lashing out as soon as she was sent to the jungle jail after she cheated in the Kangaroo Court challenge (she tried to finish the puzzle by perching herself on the side of the dock, out of the reach of the many roaches running about the ground). Amid scenes deemed too unsettling to screen, she shouted that she was pregnant in a bid to be let back into the main camp. Fellow contestant Lembit Opik said everyone was worried about her, adding: "Gillian's level of ailments have increased and she has been hearing voices. She is very weak and frail at the moment." An insider said: "When Gillian went back to the jungle jail she went nuts. It was quite scary'."
Not as scary as her psychotic belief that she has a TV career. This specific moment of delusion came during an uncomfortable chat with Stacey Solomon (who's on her way to winning). Stacey, nose poking through the bamboo bars of the jungle jail, calmly pointed out that McKeith should bugger off home if she can't handle being on the show: "If you're so afraid and have so many phobias and are ill over it, you should go. There's nothing keeping you here. Honestly, Gill, if your phobia is that intense and that bad and you're having to get up and deal with it every day. It's hard for us to hear it as well."
McScreech's response: "You're the classic person who doesn't understand what a fear is versus a phobia. You don't understand phobia, it's like taking a person who can't swim and throwing them in 10 feet of water and saying, 'Off you go, see if you can swim'." To which Stacey quite rightly pointed out that there's an element of possible death there. This Gillian couldn't stomach, so she haughtily gurbled (I know it's not a word, we're going with it regardless) something along the lines of "Then don't listen. Just go back over there. I have a television career and if I walk out on my contract I will not work in television again. That's the way it works." Someone might want to tell her it's not 2006.
Back to the "sick note". A producer spilling to The Mirror offered: "Producers have decided that enough is enough. Gillian is beginning to make a mockery of the whole show. Her refusal to take part is spoiling the trials for fans. Obviously viewers are enjoying watching Gillian squirm because they keep voting for her, but now she has started to completely refuse to try, which ruins the programme. Gillian could throw the whole series into crisis, so we've had to give her a sick note."
So, no more quivering legs in damp short shorts. Boooo. And no more ropey songs across the bridge... Ah well, at least there's this...