A whole 81 days shorter than previously stipulated. Yep, even Paris Hilton served longer than that.
According to a "jail source" speaking to The Sun: "The sentence keeps shrinking. The new estimate is she will be released after nine days if she behaves herself. The latest sheriff's documents are saying 14 days but she can knock a few more off that. I expect her to be out shortly after next weekend."
In addition to this, LA County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore said: "She is scheduled to be released on either August 1 or 2 for overcrowding issues and good behaviour."
You might think, "Nargh, what's the bleedin' point of all this if she's only going to spend a wet week in jail. That's not even enough time to blunt the questionable 'shaving implements' she was provided with" - but there is something productive to come out of this situation (not the allegedly songwriting *shudders*). Her "prison nightmare" has been turned into a porno. Yay.
Splash News reports: " The hardcore parody, titled Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Goes to Jail, has hit the internet less than 24 hours after Lohan started her sentence for violating her probation. Porn starlet and Lohan lookalike Scarlett Fay plays a crying, bitchy Lindsay as she is sentenced in court before starting her stretch behind bars. She does her best to persuade the male judge to let her off lightly - but he still sends her to prison. The spoof Lohan also uses her charms to get on the good side of the female prison officer. "
I don't know about you, but I'm currently being subjected to a trailer for the "film" in question courtesy of my mind, featuring Vinegar T*ts from Prisoner Cell Block H as the prison guard and Samantha Ronson as the made judge. Thanks brain. Now all I need is the sound track... "He used to give me rosesaaaaays. I wish he could agaaaaain... but that was on the outsiiiiiiiiiiide, and things were different then.... ON THE INSIDE -" well, that's there for the day.
Still, it's better than having the infernal Heathers song that's being gratuitously overplayed every ad break scratching through the grey matter. What went from a nice ditty has turned into The Futureheads sucking helium in a tumble dryer - "I NEED TE GOOOOH, I NEEED TE GET AWAY FROM EVEEEERYYYYTING, I NEED TE BLURRBY BLAH AWAY FROM HEEEEEEEEEEYRE..." There'll be no getting rid of that now. The only thing that could top it would be a Jive Bunny Mega Mix of horror, melding various overplayed Irish Tourist Board adverts with that guitar strumming gobsh*te from the Wymax ad.......... nads. *slumps over monitor*