I take it back; Lily Allen is useless at punching AND put downs. This startling confirmation came to our attention this morning after she roused the following retorts while co-presenting the GQ Awards with Sir Elton John last night.

Lily: "And now to the most important part of the night..."
Elton: "What? Are you going to have another drink?"
Lily: " F*** off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!"
Elton: "I could still snort you under the table."
Lily: "F*** off. I don't know what you are talking about."

Perhaps if she hadn't spent most of the awards horsing into the free champers she might've been able to conjure something better. Instead, in an attempt to detract attention from her lack of quick wit and her blatant ageism, she proceeded to talk about her brother's secret engagement to Jamie Winestone (the last time we read about Alfie and Jamie, she was sucker punching him in the stomach while in the middle of a busy Edinburgh street). She referred to Jamie as her "very soon-to-be sister-in-law" and, when said pending sister-in-law mouthed "Shh, no one is supposed to know", Lily bellowed "Show off yer rock! Show off your diamond!" According to those 3AM girls, 21-year-old Alfie mumbled to them at the bar "Well, now you know." Yep, we might even know more than you think -like how you'll get married too soon, will separate within two years cause Jamie will do the dirt and then you'll officially divorce before your 25, hopefully before any kiddies enter the mix.

In other GQ news; Primal Scream's Bobby Gillespie referred to Elle Macpherson as a 'giraffe in a dress' as she presented him with his Best Band award. Speaking of which, here are the winners:

Outstanding Achievement: Led Zep
Lifetime Achievement: David Bailey (photographer)
Alfred Dunhill Maverick Award: Mark Ronson
International Man of the Year: Josh Brolin
Band of the Year: Primal Scream
BlackBerry Entrepreneur of The Year: Gordon Ramsay
Radio Personality of the Year: Chris Evans
Stylish Man of the Year: Brandon Flowers
Breakthrough Talent: James Corden
TV Personality of the Year: James Nesbitt
Actor of the Year: Steve Coogan
Comedians of the Year: The Mighty Boosh
Politician of the Year: Boris Johnson

It's official - GQ don't quite know their arse from their elbow.