"It's like your brain goes offline, and you don't know why no one else is panicking."
Lady Gaga speaks about her horrific experience of sexual abuse in the new Apple TV+ series from Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey, 'The Me You Can't See.'
Gaga, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, reveals that she became pregnant after being raped by a music producer when she was just 19.
She tells Oprah tearfully: "I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, 'Take your clothes off.' And I said no, and I left, and they told me they were going to burn all my music. And they didn't stop.
"They didn't stop asking me, and I just froze and I… I don't even remember."
Lady Gaga did not disclose the name of her rapist. She explained: "I will not say his name, I understand this #metoo movement, I understand that some people feel really comfortable with this and I do not… I do not ever want to face that person again."
The singer says she was admitted to hospital as a result of fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, which it emerged was triggered by PTSD.
"I realised it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner, my parents' house, because I was vomiting and sick because I had been abused, I was locked away in a studio for months," she said.
Years later, Gaga had "a total psychotic break" and was in an "ultra state of paranoia" as a result of the trauma.
"For a couple years, I was not the same girl," she said. "The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped.
"I've had so many MRIs and scans where they don't find nothing. But your body remembers."
"I couldn't feel anything, I disassociated," she added. "It's like your brain goes offline, and you don't know why no one else is panicking."
The singer said it took her two and a half years to recover, but that "getting triggered once" is enough for her slip back into feelings of physical and emotional pain.
Lady Gaga ended on a hopeful note. She said that it took years of effort, but she has "learned all the ways to pull myself out of it. It all started to slowly change."
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