If Kerry Katona actually had a job, someone would have sacked her by now. Granted, the, eh... what exactly does she do? Anyway, she's apparently clean as a whistle and is off whatever narcotics and booze she was allegedly guzzling on a regular basis - but is now broker than a desperate property tycoon at a roulette table in a back street casino. Katona’s mush is in the news today because her "ex," some dude named Daniel Foden, has said that she's basically been stalking him.
Foden, a former contestant on Take Me Out, who claimed he hated the limelight (like all contestants on that show...) told The Mirror: "Kerry keeps calling and texting me and it's not going down very well with my new girlfriend," before adding that he thinks Katona is “trying to sort her life out but there's always going to be the little devil on her shoulder." The ever classy Katona retaliated in her OK column (so she DOES have a job), saying it was "the biggest load of bull I've heard." She then continued with typical eloquence and restraint: "Dan, considering you don't like the limelight, you're not doing a bad job of milking your five minutes of fame for the six weeks we were together" She wrote, "As for me wanting you back, well if by me returning your phone calls and texts indicates I want you back, then you're very much mistaken - once bitten, twice shy." Katona then laid in the final boot to the nethers by declaring, "I’ve had trips to the toilet that have lasted longer than him."
She spent six weeks living in a toilet? Does Kerry Katona have bowel issues? Has years of excessive behaviour caused her to ironically spend as much time in the toilet as she would've spent when she was enjoying said excess? Those are images that you now can't unsee, and for that I apologise. Good to see she still has sterling taste in men, though.