I was going to go with 'John Terry Believes He Can Act The Goat While Representing His Country - Hey, if Berlusconi Can Do It!' but it wouldn't fit in the title box.
OK, the long and the short of it is, Rio Ferdinand has after injuring his corn rows so John Terry's been reinstated as England captain. By way of a recap, Terry had his armband removed last summer before the World Cup as he was caught having it away with Wayne Bridge's girlfriend/mother of his child (allegedly). Terry's wife, Toni, having a couple of kids and no extracurricular career of her own, of course, forgave him. Therefore John was shocked when he was relieved of the captaincy. Here's what he had to say of his trying ordeal yesterday:
"When I met Fabio and Franco at Wembley, I looked them in the eye and said they would get nothing less from me. I feel that is what I've done and maybe they've both looked at that in me. I didn't agree with the decision, which I told them face to face. I could understand it a bit (naaaw, WELL DONE! *rigorously pats head*). But once they spoke to me - and it's difficult for legal reasons to go into detail - I felt that I didn't deserve to lose the armband. People say it was a six-minute meeting but it was 10 or 15. We spoke about stuff openly and honestly, which will, hopefully, stay private between us three (bet that's not the first time he's said that *jazz hands*). As I've said, I accepted their decision but it doesn't mean I agreed with it and I never will..."
How gracious and not at all belligerent of you, and therefore wildly surprising. When commenting on the reaction of the teammates following yesterday's announcement, he continued: "Certain players at clubs don't get on with each other, we know that. But that's not just football, it's life itself. I know I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea. When the manager pulled the group together at training and said I was captain, he asked if anyone had any questions and no one said a word to the manager or to me."
... 'cause 90% of you are all cut from the same ball-kicking, prostitute frequenting, adultery advocating identikit?
Finally, of Ferdinand's reaction to the news, Terry said: "We had a 10 or 15-minute conversation (so, really, it was probably about six minutes) and, naturally, he's disappointed. But it goes to show what a great man Rio is, having the time to do that. It was very similar to when I lost it. He was the first phone call I made. I wished him well, hoping he gets fit soon. But he stressed the most important thing is England winning. That's what we all want."
Yeah, so f***ing around with a teammate's partner in the run up to a World Cup isn't conducive to "winning", Capt'n. Next time, you might be better off disrespecting your family (not the shoplifting / drug dealing one, the other one) with a bevy of Cole's desperate bottle blondes, or forking over some cash upfront for one of Rooney or Crouch's oh so rewarding conquests.