The 38th International EMMY Awards (not to be confused with the proper American EMMYs where interesting people turn up) were laid on in New York last night, and would you believe reading this sentence is more thrilling than the accompanying red carpet gallery. No, no, really it is. Why? Because the most notable guests comprise of Simon Cowell and his latest big breasted beard, the bird off Mad Man whose forehead is crying out for a proper fringe, Mathew Modine's midlife crisis, Jason Priestley's haunted stare (although he was hosting, so he was probably a bit nervoid) and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
There was the odd moody and/or sophisticated soul, not to mention the stray model type and handy breast barer, but what's the point when you can't seen their bleedin' shoes?! Lookit, 95% of them are cut off at the knee. I'll assume the obviously novice WENN photographer wasn't briefed on the fact that, usually, the only interesting thing about staring at a photo of someone you've never clapped eyes on before is their footwear. Thank you for robbing us of that joy. And how selective they were too - they went to the bother of photographing Elisabeth Moss in her entirety even though her dress is consuming her feet. It would appear that other guests were picking up on the photographer's oversight as this lady made a point of showcasing her wares, whileEli Wallachwent for the more direct approach of prodding the snapper backwards for a greater scope.
The winners? Really? OK.
Arts Programming: 'The World According to Ion B' - HBO/Alexander Nanau Production (Romania)
Best Performance by an Actor: Bob Hoskins in 'The Street' - ITV Studios for BBC (UK)
Best Performance by an Actress: Helena Bonham Carter in 'Enid' - Carnival Film & Television for BBC (UK)
Children & Young People: 'Shaun the Sheep' - Aardman Animations/WDR & WDR mediagroup GmbH/BBC (UK)
Comedy: 'Traffic Light' - Kuperman Productions/Keshet Broadcasting (Israel)
Documentary:'Mom and the Red Bean Cake' - Munhwa Broadcasting Corporation (South Korea)
Drama Series:'The Street' - ITV Studios for BBC (UK)
Non-Scripted Entertainment:'CQC' (Caiga Quien Caiga) news review - Eyeworks Cuatro Cabezas SA (Argentina)
Telenovela: 'My Love' - Plural Entertainment (Portugal)
TV Movie/Mini-Series:'Small Island' - Ruby Television/AL Films/Northern Ireland Screen for BBC and WGBH Boston (UK)
Special 2010 International Emmy Founders Award: Simon Cowell, AKA the OVERLORD.