Retail is hell, yes, but it's also hilarious.
Anyone's who worked in retail will tell you that it is, broadly speaking, complete and utter hell.
While the majority of people tend to be perfectly fine and reasonable, there's that maybe 5% who making working in retail an utter nightmare - and it's only with the distance of time that you can laugh about it.
So it goes with comedy writer / producer @fairycakes, and her collection of stories from her time working in HMV. Again, it's key to point out that working in retail is the f*cking worst, but it does come with these kind of war stories that you only laugh about in retrospect.
Take a look.
There was an old man who came in every week asking where the adult DVDs were. Every time you showed him, he’d grab his chest, yelp and pretend to faint, all in a desperate attempt to get one of the female members of staff to give him mouth to mouth.
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
Another bloke got fired because he was stealing money from the til and getting it up to the staff room by hiding it in a ‘keeping up appearances’ box set
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
Another woman came in and asked if we had High School Musical 3 on DVD. I said it was only on cinema release and wouldn’t be available to buy until next year. She grabbed my collar, pulled my face an inch from hers, looked me dead in the eyes, and said “shitbrain”
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
Another guy came in every week to buy all the new singles in the UK top 40. He was about 85 years old and had been a travelling DJ since the 60s. He hadn’t had any work in years but wanted to purchase all the latest chart hits “just in case”
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
A man tried to get a refund on a Tom and Jerry boxset because the storylines were “repetitive”
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
And she did. One day another customer told her she looked like the Queen and she hit him with her handbag
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
A man threatened legal action when he discovered that instead of a staff member ordering him in Candyman: the horror film, they ordered in the CD single of Candy Man by Christina Aguilera
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
Channel 5 news came in to film some vox pops about the X Factor but eventually gave up after everyone they spoke to in the store just ended up calling Simon Cowell a wanker
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 30, 2019
While the thread ends on that Simon Cowell story, by far that's the one that is the best of the lot and is just (chef's kiss fingers). Not only that, the 'Candyman' DVD story is also excellent and is exactly the kind of hilarity / insanity you'd expect from a retail job.
Let it never be said that working in retail isn't interesting. It absolutely is, and it's the nutjobs the other side of the counter who make it so.