Most sayings in life ring true. The one applicable here is, "There's always someone worse off than you." This is the saying Daniel Radcliffe can take to bed with him for comfort this evening, you know, in the wake of "allegedly" caught hoofing off a reefer at a low key session in a friend's flat.
May I present to you, Josh Herdman. Nope, I don't know the name either. In fact, I couldn't pick him out of a line up of "regular Harry Potter cast members" even after seeing a number of the films (not through choice, I hasten to add). Apparently he's one of Draco Malfoy's surly friends, one 'Gergory Goyle'.
Here's the interesting bit. Josh was invited to a convention by the name of Collectormania in Copenhagen. According to a flurry of well-informed sources speaking to The Sun, Josh was a liiiiiidle drunk. And then abusive. And then lewd. And then very scared. And then very sorry...
"Herdman was an utter disgrace. He was out of his skull when he arrived and his behaviour got worse. Lots of kids came to see him. He was meant to meet them with a smile and sign autographs. But they were greeted by a scowling, offensive, foul-mouthed drunk," The Sun reports. "Organisers cut short his appearance and smuggled him out for his own safety - then dropped him from the event's second day. Herdman carried on bingeing on beer, whisky and Sambuca, causing more chaos at the four-star Hotel Kong Frederik. The eyewitness continued: 'He came into reception and started screaming abuse at Collectormania's organisers. At one point he screamed, 'I am a regular cast member in the biggest movie franchise in cinema history and you will NOT speak to me like that!' He kept kicking off in the hotel all evening'."
Despite acting like a complete arse, Herdman managed to coerce a blonde to have sex with him on a couch in one of the hotel's foyers: "A cleaner then heard moans coming from a basement foyer in the early hours of Sunday morning - and found grinning Herdman writhing around on a sofa with a half-naked blonde straddling his lap. The shocked cleaner fetched security, who ordered the pair to leave. Herdman stormed out with the mystery beauty (um, what's "mysterious" about straddling an egomaniacle, inebriated f**kwit on a public couch?) to get more booze, then caused more mayhem on his return. A hotel source said: 'Staff tried to get him to check out but he started crying for an ambulance, saying he was going to die. He finally collapsed in the toilet with his trousers round his ankles. When staff tried to get him to move he started screaming and bolted into the café next door. Police and an ambulance were called because he was clearly out of control'."
Once treated - for overconsumption, not for being a total arse; that should take several years of therapy - Herdman was ordered by police to pay his bill and leave promptly. If he had been a regular arse, he probably would've been arrested for being drunk and disorderly, not to mention engaging in a lewd act in public. But, because he's a "regular cast member in the biggest movie franchise in cinema history", he was allowed to go home to wallow in his temporary shame.
Now, if that doesn't put the whole 'Harry Pothead' furor into perspective, I don't know what will. Maybe Rupert Grint engaging in some sordid orgy comprising solely of satan-worshipping redheads might make it pale in comparison, but I doubt even he would end that ordeal bawling with his trousers balled around his ankles.