Eva Mendes has admitted she's had some of the "wildest nights" of her life since giving birth to her first child, Esmeralda Amada.
The 40-year-old actress, who has been dating Ryan Gosling since 2011, gave birth six weeks ago and admits motherhood has left her feeling "exhausted".
She shared the following with The Violet Files: "I thought my wild nights were over but these are some of the wildest nights I've ever had."
While there had been rumours herself and Ryan had recruited the talents of a nanny not long after the birth, Eva says they're going to alone (apart from hounding the rellies for a hand - "[they] come over and really help me") - but has refused to rule out the possibility going forwards.
"I'm doing it without a nanny for now but I'm open to the idea of having a nanny in the future. For me that part of being a mother at this early stage is the struggle of not being able to sleep and not knowing what I'm doing and really going through it with her and battling out those nights."
Eva also revealed she has taken inspiration from other new mums online, who discuss their personal experiences: "I try not to Google too many things because it is frightening... I so read the comment section from other mothers because I find so much solace in that. Just knowing that I'm not alone out there and that other moms have gone through the same thing can at least get me through the night."
Going through this has made her appreciate what her own mother went through: "I cannot believe that by the time my mother was 24 she had three kids under the age of 4... She was in Cuba and totally alone. So when it’s the wee hours of the night and I’m feeling a bit insane, I think about her and realize that I have no right to complain about anything."
My mum was one of 8 children... No wonder Irish mammies are MENTAL.
As for what motherhood means to her, she added: "I do consider how my own actions now will seem to her later on. For instance, with the Violet Grey photo shoot, I thought, 'Is this something that she’s going to be proud of?' The idea that I would ever embarrass her is really heartbreaking for me."
*coughsobviouslink*
Via Us Magazine