Well, whaddaya know. The gallery maker survived. Impressive. Right so, what have we got here then. Drew Barrymore came dressed as deep sea plantlife, coral maybe. Or perhaps is sporting her depiction of half a womb turned inside out; the fallopian tubular top for her torso? Whatever her nod to Mother Earth, she'd want to quit the couture shoulder hunching, it does her breasticles no favours. Blake Lively, on the other hand, is hypnotically breastacular. And she knows it. If ever there were a head that said "Yes. The ladies are rocking. What of it?" it's that one.
Hmmmmmm, what else. Sarah Silverman came as a wall of satin. An expanse of sea for Drew's urchin, perhaps. I know the hips are meant to be like that, but it just doesn't work. That was possibly the look Sarah was going for. She's so kooky, 'n stuff. Lord, I loathe her. Moving on. Someone who looked utterly sublime was Olivia Wilde. No wonder Megan Fox wants to turn for her (for the purposes of titillating teenage boys who might frequent the cinema).
Among the telly elite, there were of course some pond life lurking about the surface. Namely Kim Kardashian, who showcased the extent of her talent. While her sister, Kourtney, brought the extent of hers. They, however, looked extremely gifted in comparison to this creature. It actually took me a while to cop who she was, given she hasn't been photographed here wearing some form of nautical head gear, clutching a miniature dog, or drawing attention to her crotch. And then it all came flooding back.
Elsewhere, Patricia Arquette is still refusing to wear garments that can house her breasts; Chloe Sevigny pilfered my shower curtain and teamed it with a broach; Mary-Louise Parker's got legs and she wants YOU to know about it; Mila Kunis looks like a devil sprite being anchored to this plane by behemoth shoes (and I'd keep one shifty eye on Angel, Mila, it would appear he plans to make mischief with you); who knew Willow could look so effortlessly glamorous; Rose Byrne's sporting the contents of a Petri dish; Hayden came as her own red carpet, which means she clashes spectacularly with Toni Collette; and I believe Heidi Klum's pregnant. As for you, Victoria Rowell. I've no idea who you are but congrats for bringing yourself to the world's attention by wrapping yourself in bed linen embossed with President Obama's disembodied head.
As for the men, it was the usual suits. Duckie's still quaffing from the font of youth, while Sheldon off The Big Bang Theory is looking cuter than normal (yes, Jim Parsons has been added to the list of strange males I fancy for reasons unknown. Probably his jumpers). Unfortunately nothing similar can be said for his co-star Johnny Galecki (AKA Leonard). He needs to step away from the hair gel and consider making glasses a permanent fixture on his face. It needs something to break it up. Otherwise, he'll just have to live with being constantly mistaken for a latter day Corey Feldman.