Sorry gerrals, none of yis are in with a chance given The Sun are reporting that Fassbender has been enjoying secret canoodlings with Naomi Campbell.
The supermodel is said to be enjoying a fling with the 12 Years a Slave actor, and they have become more open about their blossoming romance after being spotted at Coya restaurant in London earlier this week.
A source told The Sun: "They were in a cordoned-off area within the members' area of the restaurant to give them as much privacy as possible. But they didn't mind being seen together and were openly affectionate. At one point, they even started snogging."
Man, I don't even know who I'm more envious of in that scenario.
It is said Naomi is "smitten" with the actor, telling friends at the V&A Museum - where she was attending the launch of a fashion exhibition - that she was excited for their date.
The insider added: "Naomi is smitten with Michael. She told friends at the V&A she was looking forward to going on a date later in the evening. Everyone was intrigued to find out who with."
However, a friend of the beauty has insisted the future of their romance isn't clear: "Naomi always has rich and famous men courting her, so we've no idea if these dates with Michael will develop into something more serious."
That aside, I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall during one of their future arguments. Just sayin'.
>Michael Fassbender's off the market, apparently dating Gerard Butler's ex. Fancy a gander?