Yep, and you feared Jedward would be a potential embarrassment.

19-year-old Dervla (the daughter) is sitting her Leaving Cert at this very moment, but she recently took a break from her revision to babble at The Independent about the year gone by: "I've worked hard but there's been so much going on over the past year... Music is what I want to do - and the past year has just been incredible."

Super, that's all very nice, but what of this Eurovision claim *in bustles Mammy Mary* "We are having a meeting in a few weeks' time with some people about the whole idea"... of your son hucklebucking his way around Azerbaijan.

If you thought that was disturbing, spare a thought for those sitting in TV3's reception area from 10.30pm last night. I am of course referring to their new "extremely graphic" A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex (10.30pm of a Tuesday, if you're so inclined). When there was not one but two warnings about the extremely graphic nature of the programme, kindly deployed by TV3's omnipresent voiceover duo, I kind of shrugged and thought, "Meh, it's nothing I've not already stumbled across on the internet." I was so very, very wrong. The likes of Rude Tube, Brazzers and Vivid do not go to the trouble of of attaching internal cameras to their subjects... Seriously, I can't actually describe the image that greeted me in the opening montage, but it was akin to a one-eyed baby vole being born in reverse. Naturally, I continued watching, and was rewarded by an image of wee voley being terribly ill in the birth canal...

If it was merely beyond hardcore images, you could brace yourselves for that, desensitise yourself in a way, but they kept showing lots of glamour sorts doing the business in soft focus. OK, there was a segment involving obese people, but there was still soft focus... then, a split second later, your dewy gaze was thrown the perils of gonorrhea, before moving on to the joys of girl on girl action, and then swiftly on to a close up of a pre-op John Wayne Bobbit scenario. What an unwelcomed rollercoaster.

Honestly, the only way I could get over it was by imagining the aforementioned collection of souls, quietly waiting to appear on Tonight With Vincent Browne in TV3's reception area, you know, where they have large screens showing the currently airing programme... Imagine the level of name tag fiddling and phone inspection.

Now that's disturbing. For them. And possibly mildly arousing. Again, for them. But mostly just very disturbing.