One sure fire way of ensuring ratings gold is to announce the possible absconding of a show's main star a few weeks before said show airs. In unrelated news, what's this about Simon Cowell leaving The X Factor to concentrate on taking over the world of TV producing, with the aid of Sir Philip Green of Topshop fame? Seemingly they both hope their new venture will be "bigger than US entertainment conglomerate, Disney."
The Mirror reports: "He has found the show increasingly draining and it leaves him little time for serious business… They (himself and Green) are thinking in terms of a new Disney. What they are planning is that big. They are talking about making profits of billions as opposed to millions from their joint venture."
According to the paper, Cowell - who is already worth €140million - "plans to produce and present the television programmes, while his new business partner (who's only worth €517billion) will oversee business strategy." Green confirmed: "It will be a multi-faceted media business operating television, production, music, talent management and merchandising (presumably peat briquette head wigs, a range of undersized black V neck t-shirts, fake moob implants, and nipple skimming trousers with an inbuilt girdle). It should be a lot of fun."
OK, let's look at the positives. At least Cowell won't have as much time to release mindless novelty songs... it'll just be... mindless... novelty TV. It will only be a matter of time before tearing the eyes from one's sockets only to stuff them in one's ears (trust me, it serves the duel purpose of stifling noxious noises while aiding what's left of the deadened brain make haste out the front door) becomes a regular pastime in the average sitting room.
Weirdly enough, the news of Simon leaving X Factor coincides with news of a middle aged woman sending the show's producers into a flap when she announced she was going to kill herself. A source said: "She ran off, shouting that she was going to commit suicide. The producers ran after her. An hour and a half later they were still making sure that she was OK."