After birdie 243 comes crawling out of the "woodswork," it is revealed that while Lindsay was hibernating at the Chateau Marmont, Tiger had been popping into her bunker and stroking his nine iron on secret trysts. A press conference is hurriedly arranged after it is revealed that Lindsay has been carrying a Tiger cub for the past six months and she returns from India to confess all. This inevitably slows down her tireless campaigning with the street children of Calcutta, New Delhi and beyond but she assures her fans that the child will be brought up alongside her newly adopted brood of seven that she saved from their child labour camp only to be assigned 18 hour shifts working for Lohan's new leggings line.