I was going to kick things off with the usual "Are you famous/minted? Have you found out that your husband has been rogering tattooed limpets behind your back?! Well, why don't you go adopt a baby from New Orleans! That's bound to sooth that nasty hole left in your soul!" type rant, but then I learned that herself and Jesse had in fact adopted Louis Bardo before we all found out James was an infested cliché with Nazi tendencies.
WENN reports: "The Oscar-winning actress walked out on James in March (10) after tattooed model Michelle McGee went public with claims of an 11-month affair with the TV mechanic.It has now been revealed the news came just months after the couple adopted little Louis Bardo Bullock, a three-and-a-half-month-old boy who was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Bullock confirmed she began the adoption process four years ago. The Blind Side star also reveals the couple brought Louis home in January (10), but decided to keep the news private until after the Academy Awards in March (10)."
But then she went into hiding after all the skanks came crawling out of the wordwork. So now is the time for Sandra to "come out of seclusion" and brandish her new baby on the cover of People Magazine. She did, of course, also supply some words to go with the picture. According to TMZ, the magazine asked the question, "'Were you aware of any interest [Jesse] may have had in white supremacy or Nazism?' Bullock responded, 'The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married. This was stupid, this was ignorant. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, anything Nazi and a boatload of other things have no place in my life... And the man I married felt the same.' As for her newly adopted African-American baby, Bullock told the magazine she arranged for the child to have a bris - the Jewish circumcision ceremony."
As for Jesse, well, he's being very gracious - by "letting" his wife divorce him, you know, after he publicly humiliated her and put her at risk of getting gonorrhea: "The decision to let my wife end our marriage has left a huge hole in my heart. Sandy is the love of my life (clearly not), but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go (how very good of you)... The time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am (?!). I know in my heart (which appears to be warped) that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realise that this is an incredible mountain to climb... I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done (no, worse, we pity her). She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the six years we have been together."
Lord, mind you don't trip over your massive wang on the way up your incredible mountain of utter b*ll*cks.