So it looks like Russell Brand and Katy Perry have finally retired to Splitsville, which you didn't need to be f**king Nostradamus to see coming. I know this story broke over the holiday season, but frankly, if no one important bought the farm then the laptop was staying off...
The beacon of journalist integrity that is The Daily Mail are reporting that Brand filed for divorce because Perry "put fame before him." Evidently Brand wanted Miss Perry to squeeze out a sprog but the "I kissed a girl" warbler was unwilling to take the time off for the required consummation and raising of said kid. Perry, y'see, is still a mere 27 years old so probably wanted to make sure she could squeeze into various tight fitting latex garments for as long as possible before settling into the Russell Brand ideology of Suburbia. The couple had lasted 14 months, which, in fairness, is longer than some folk expected; especially given Brand's reputation for riding everything that moves. And some inanimate objects... probably.
It's never nice when a relationship ends, and it can only be all the more difficult when it ends in the public eye. Neither person courted publicity through their marriage (as far as I'm aware anyway), so best to both of them in the future. Brand is probably already having sex as I type this...
Mike SheridanÂ