She who doesn't deserve to be named gave the following interview for Channel Five's programme Russell & Ross: What the F*** Was All That About? For those of you who have Five, it's due for broadcast tonight at 10.00pm.
Of saying she wanted Brand and Ross sacked, she said: "I was really angry when I said I wanted them both to be fired, but I think the suspension was good enough, so I'm feeling a bit gutted really about the whole thing. I think it's way out of proportion what’s happened, and I don't hate either of them, I don’t at all. I think they’re really talented comedians and I think a world without Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand would be a very sad, dull place. You know I think Russell needs to learn a few lessons about respecting women, definitely, and maybe Jonathan Ross could maybe think before he speaks in the future. I don't have any harder feeling than that.
Of where she's going from here, she said: "I want to keep performing with my dance troupe. And all these modelling offers have come through which is quite interesting. I thought about doing modelling a few years ago but was told I was a bit too chunky for that, but now all of a sudden I'm not, so that's great. So I think I might be doing a bit of modelling, and I've also done a bit of acting in the past, so I might try and get back into that."
Of the resulting controversy, she added: "The most upsetting thing is that all of my secrets are now known by my grandparents and parents and everybody else (thanks to Max Clifford, her new agent who sold her story to The Sun). It's put a lot of strain on our relationship as a family. I was really embarrassed because my grandparents aren't supposed to think of me as someone sexual (who charges £100 an hour for personal dominatrix services and portrays sexual violence onstage as a bit of a larf) - they're supposed to think of me as a nice girl. I'm going to leave speaking to them for a while because of all the things people have been bringing up from my past. I don't want to embarrass them even more by talking about that too... it's a shame that it got out of hand, and Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross are great performers and they made a mistake and they apologised to my granddad which was very important to me. I hope that everyone can move on and that we can forget about this."
Stop doing interviews and we might be able to.