In fact, so much of it is so clearly lies and completely inexplicable. 'Thomas The Tank Engine' is one example. The whole thing about them being "useful" is such crap. Are you trying to say that simply because you don't contribute, you're somehow useless? What if you're unable to be "useful"? Plus, Thomas was such a stuck-up assh*le of a train. Everyone knew Edward or James should have been the star.
For Twitter user Cain_Unable, the beef was with 'Postman Pat' and his utter inability to do his job. To be fair, there are no inconsistencies with the logic on display here.
Postman Pat really was useless at his job, and the fact that generations grew up thinking he was some kind of folk hero is ridiculous. Plus, Jess The Cat was often locked in that van without so much as a window open. What kind of sick f*ck leaves a cat locked in a van without some kind of ventilation?
Anyway, here's Cain_Unable's Twitter rant about Postman Pat that articulates what we've all been thinking about him.
I don't mean to be needlessly controversial but we need to talk about Postman Pat. That guy is utterly incompetent & I'm so sick of his bullshit. Any other job & he'd be sacked. He delivers like one parcel a day. ONE! And it takes him all day, even when he uses one of the
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
surprising number of vehicles available to him, the van, the boat, the helicopter?! How is it cost effective to deliver one parcel in a helicopter? Ben, the Depot Manager is the most patient man in the whole world. Every day he calls Pat on his mobile & EVERY DAY Pat answers...
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
"Special Delivery Service, Pat Clifton speaking" & not once has Ben ever said "Pat, you have caller ID mate, you know it's me, WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD IT BE PAT?!"
Also, every day Ben clearly asks "How soon can you get here?" & again, Every. Single. Day. Pat answers cheerfully— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
"I'm on my way!" THAT DOESN'T ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION PAT!! He clearly asked WHEN you'd arrive Pat!! Yesterday he delivered a load of crockery, it wasn't wrapped or boxed so his plan was 'to drive slowly'. Guess what happened, yep, he broke a plate. Inevitable Pat!! Today he
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
delivered an unsealed bee hive. UNSEALED! Did any of the bees escape? Of course they fucking did! ALL of them. Why hasn't he been sacked?! Why?! I have some theories but I'll save them for my full exposé on this maniac. One week he actually got his head stuck in a tree (below).
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
Alf was in like a shot of course as you can see. I don't blame Pat for that obviously, that's on Alf, but Jesus Pat, how do you get yourself in these ridiculous situations? Is he trying to get himself sacked? He must be. The whole village had to get him out, I suspect they're pic.twitter.com/fAFuQw4kvC
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
absolutely sick of his shit too. You can tell by their faces. He should be going through the Royal Mail disciplinary process & I can't believe HR haven't forced Ben's hand & given him a written warning at least. pic.twitter.com/iw5Xy5VBdM
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018
Unrelated. I've only had 3 hours sleep.
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) November 10, 2018