That Madonna has requested that no one utter the number 50 at her birthday soiree tomorrow - probably because a "high priest of Kabbalah" has taken some time to calculate her "spiritual age" and has deduced that it's 36... That Madonna has an immature energy, who'd have thought it... That 19-year-old Casey Aldrige has denied he was bedding down with his 28-year-old former lover, Kelli Dawson, while Jamie Lynne Spears was six months pregnant with his child... That Gael Garcia Bernal has impregnated his girlfriend and fellow actor, Dolore Fonzi (eeeeeeyyy)... That Christian Bale will only get a caution if he pleas guilty to assaulting his mother and sister... That's awkward... That, despite claiming she was still in love with Nick Jonas/would consider Chris Martin if he was sixteen, Mily Cyrus is now believe she's dating Step Up 2 The Streets actor Adam Sevani... That an "insider" said: "It's the early stages of dating. She is a little boy-crazy over him"... That she's a little boy-crazy full stop... A rep for Sevani said "they're just good friends"... That David Beckham will close the Beijing Olympics to signify it being held in London in 2012... That Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will marry in LA tomorrow... That twenty people will attend and Portia will wear the dress... That Kate Beckinsale recently said: "It still amazes me that people actually watching me with a gun didn't just burst out laughing. I can't even play ping-pong, but it turns out I'm good with weapons. I've got enormous hands, like a transsexual, and that's probably why"... At last - a sentence that doesn't make reference to her special area... That Geri Halliwell has landed "a short appearance" in Crank 2, which stars Jason Statham... Halliwell said: "I have just filmed a small part in the movie Crank 2. I play a chavvy mother with a blacked out tooth and look like trailer trash. I'm trying to do things that I enjoy, that test my character and which are joyful, creative and funny"... That playing an impoverished, bereft of dental care, could only be construed as "joyful" and "funny" by someone who gets to go home to a mansion... That, in shocking news, Lisa Marie Presley is having fraternal twins... That she will name her son Jesse, "after her father's identical twin, who was stillborn", and her daughter Gladys Love...