That this extremely tardy installment of Rumours includes Armando Iannuchi in the thick of it; Katie Price's disillusionment with Paris; Zac Efron's clinical first kiss; Lindsay Lohan's granny mouthing off; Britney Spears inhaling weed during a performance; Alec Baldwin stepping out with a younger model... and Pink doing the unavoidable....... That Danielle Lloyd has a new tattoo on her left shoulder blade, which reads "To diminish me will only make me stronger"... It's in Latin... That Sarah Harding has a new tattoo on her forearm... It's a large Tibetan sign which means "Inner strength"... That I'm thinking of getting "INSECURE" inked across my chest... That Britney Spears skipped offstage, after performing four three songs at a gig in Vancouver, because the venue was "too smoky"... The Sun said: "A voice came over the speaker system informing the audience the show would not restart if people continued to smoke marijuana and cigarettes because if was unsafe for the performers and Britney. Around 40 minutes later the star returned to the stage but, according to a witness, put on a half-hearted effort"... That, at the end of the show, Britney said: "Thanks Vancouver. You were wonderful. Drive safe. Don't smoke weed"... That TMZ have a rather more expanded quote, which goes: "Thanks Vancouver. You were wonderful. Drive safe, don't smoke weed and rock out with your c**ks out! Peace mother f**kers!"... That Lindsay Lohan's grandmother, Marilyn Lohan, said: "I think she needs her family in her life, but they're not. They should be. I haven't seen her in over a year. I don't know what happened. I'm heartbroken... What happened is that it was too much too fast. And she was on her own too early. She was too young"... That Alec Baldwin is dating a 29-year-old reality show contestant winner (she won something called Stylista in 2009)... That Armando Iannucci has admitted, somewhere other than Twitter (a press conference for his new film In The Loop, which just happens to be in cinemas tomorrow), that he's working on a new series of The Thick Of It: "The only reason I joined Twitter was because there was someone else claiming to be me so I managed to take over him - I inhabited his body - but now anything I say is not taken seriously because people seem to think that I don't exist (Oooookaaay)… We're at the very early stages of writing at the moment and we'll go and do it in the second half of this year. We're back in the department of social affairs and citizenship"... That, of Chris Langham's inability to reprise the role (he's currently serving time in prison due to his relationship with child pornography), Armando said: "We know Chris won't be coming back but we'll sort out the personnel later on"... That "the new minister in the film, Simon Foster, is played by Tom Hollander"... That, of Paris Hilton reneging on her promise to show her around LA when she moved over, Katie Price said: "It's such shallow behaviour. The amount of famous people who ask for my number and don't call makes me so angry"... That Katie must be in a constant state of disappointment... That, of his first kiss, Zac Efron said: "My first kiss was a pretty standard first kiss. We were in a tree fort in her backyard and there were candles and stuff"... That the presence of candles is not standard; behind the back of a church in Stillorgan after half a 'donkey's b*ll*cks' being timed by your mates is unfortunately more the norm... That I've said too much... That Pink is finally back with her ex-husband, Carey Hart... That you can see what other celebrities are up to in Caught Out... 

OTHER RUMOURS...