That you can see footage of Tiger Wood's "apology" in Best of the Web... That Ashley Cole has also had sex with some bird when he was in Seattle... That James Corden thinks he's funnier than Peter Kay... Of the latter hosting the BRITS, Corden said: "After watching Peter Kay I'm sure I could do a great job. Bring it on! Peter was good but he could have been even more enthusiastic. But it definitely works better with one host. It is the job I most want"... That, of her fashion career, Kate Moss said: "I still can't quite believe it, even now. I still think I'm blagging it a bit but nobody's cottoned on yet"... That Ronnie Wood is "helping Katia Ivanova to launch a pop career"... A source said: "Katia is an ambitious girl and she and Ronnie have discussed her going into music. Ronnie knows the business better than most and there's talk of him writing some material for her. Ronnie's at his happiest making music. If that also involves Katia, all the better for him"... Like all the best pop acts gone before her, Katia is unable to play any instruments... That Lady GaGa kicked off her Monster Ball tour last night in Manchester... Wigs, flamable feet, impossibly large portable pianos, zombie Madonna with radioactive gicker gout, the evil thing from Finding Nemo avec arms, and homages to Babs Windsor in nuclear cockatoo mode abound... That Elton John said: ""I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East - you're as good as dead"... That Kerry Katona has dumped Mark Croft, again, this time because he thinks she cheated on him at fat camp... That those close to Charlie Sheen want him to give rehab another try for booze abuse: "Charlie's TV contract is up for renewal. He doesn't think he has a problem and he's not going into rehab. Many people believe Charlie is simply in denial about his own problems. People close to him have urged him to enter rehab and get help again. But it just doesn't look like it's going to happen"... That they won't have to worry about renewing his contract if he's sent to prison next month... That Justin Timberlake "forced all staff members working on his William Rast show at (New York Fashion Week venue) the Cedar Lake Theatre last night to sign a gag order. A source said, 'Justin made everyone sign an agreement not to gossip about him. Then, three-quarters of the entire venue was closed off for him, so all the stylists were forced to work on 31 models in a tiny area, causing tempers to flare'"... That didn't stop someone blabbing about his after show party: "There was just a crush of girls, everyone went wild... he made a beeline through the crowd to a red velvet curtain where (Jessica) Biel was waiting for him. He opened the curtain and stepped Jessica behind it, then wrapped them in it before giving her a long kiss... He ended up giving her a lap dance. It was pretty raunchy"... That Lacey Turner has been "struck down with a flu bug" which could possibly "throw tonight's live show into chaos". That there's nothing wrong with her, this is just the Beeb's last attempt to drum up viewers for tonight... they exposed themselves by saying "you'll have to tune in tonight to see if she can make it!"...  That FINALLY Ben Mitchell is odds on favourite to "be revealed as Archie's killer... The unlikely suspect, played by young actor Charlie Jones, now has odds of 11/4 with William Hill following strong support from punters over the past 24 hours. Yesterday's favourite Sean Slater (Rob Kazinsky) follows closely behind at 7/2"... That Conan O'Brien is taking to the stage since he's banned from the box 'til September: "The late-night host, whose $33 million NBC payoff deal signed a month ago includes a clause forbidding him to appear on TV until Sept. 1, is eager to keep his name in lights... 'There's nothing to stop him doing his show in front of an audience at venues like Radio City. It will build more buzz for him as he negotiates his next television contract. It will also keep Conan happy because he doesn't want to be out of the public consciousness for too long'"... That JK Rowling is being sued for plagiarism: "The lawsuit, filed in a London court, claims Rowling's book Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire copied substantial parts of Adrien Jacobs' 1987 book, The Adventures Of Willy the Wizard - No 1 Livid Land (?!) Jacobs' estate also claims that many other ideas from Willy The Wizard were copied into the Harry Potter books. Jacobs died in London in 1997"...That the writer responsible for transferring thoughts from his brain to the pages of a book has not been invited to The Oscars - despite Up In The Air being based on his novel... Walter Kirn blogged: "Caution to writers: Don't expect that because you write a novel that becomes an Oscar-nominated film that you'll be invited to the Oscars. Novelists are like oil in H'wood: they drill us, pipeline us, pump us and then burn us"... That Paramount responded: "The Academy has a process that we are following and we are respectfully waiting for them to allocate additional tickets. Of course, Walter Kirn is on our wish list for seats, as are producers and executive producers of our film who do not have seats yet"... That I'll be attempting to Tweet (let's just say, I got an iPhone and the sausage fingers REALLY miss buttons) at tonight's Meteor Awards, if you care to follow... That you can see photos of Colin Farrell's jaunt up The Savoy's red carpet last night in Caught Out...
 

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