That pictures from this week's Love Ball are still doing the rounds, thanks to Liz Hurley's NSFW nipple (which she then spent the rest of the night covering with her programme) and Kate Moss grappling with Tracey Emin's gargantuan breasts. Regrettably we don't have photos of that incident, The Sun do, though... That Peaches Geldof, Alice Dellal, Lisa Snowdon, Donna Karen, and Paloma Faith were among those in attendance... That Leona Lewis is so KERAYZEE she got a tattoo spanning the length of her spine. A source said: "Leona is often branded dull and mocked as lacking a personality. This is her way of hitting back at that. Leona loves tattoos and she felt having a really bold design running the length of her back would have a real impact." Shame it's the only tattoo in history that has the power to put you asleep... It reads: "Their beauty captures every eye, A gift from God for all man kind, They lend us wings so we may fly, To ride a horse is to ride the skyzzzzzzzzzzzz"... That Madonna has wrangled a recording contract out of Warner for her baby Jesus: "Madonna was determined to give Jesus all the help she can. She holds a lot of sway at Warners, where she had a deal until very recently. But getting him on the books wasn't completely plain-sailing. There was a little give and take between her and execs, but a compromise was eventually settled upon"... That Jesus might need to toughen up now that he's officially in the muzack biz: the New York Post reported that "Jesus Luz had a bad night in Rio on Sunday. Madonna's boy toy was deejaying at a party for the best samba schools that participated in Carnival when a guest came up and threw beer in his face, saying, 'Get out of here, I don't wanna see your face here anymore!' As reported by iG Gente magazine, Luz 'went to a corner and started to cry.' He only finished the gig when four bodyguards were assigned to flank him"... That Elin Woods has been forced to write an apology to her daughter's school due to increased paparazzi attention after her husband had it away with a football team of empty vessels. It reads: "We would like to share our appreciation for your support over the past several months and offer our personal apology for any inconvenience you are experiencing due to the increased media scrutiny surrounding our children. We truly understand how frustrating it can be. We hope that the paparazzi will find something better to do with their time in the near future"... Elin, you're in luck; they might just move on to Lost's Matthew Fox, for he's been banging a stripper despite being married to model for 18 years... Said stripper, a mother of one from Oregon and a HUGE Party of Five fan, said: "I was dancing onstage, and I made eye contact with him immediately. I got so excited. He asked me, 'Why are you working in a place like this?' I told him that I am a single mom and needed the money. He absolutely did not mention a wife or family, and I don't remember him wearing a wedding ring"... After treating him to no less than "four private dances, each worth $20", the pair reportedly "sat around and talked about his show. He complimented me and was saying how down-to-earth I am. He told me he was going to be in town for a couple of days (then the sex happened). He didn't tell me to keep it a secret or anything. He didn't even use protection. He didn't seem concerned at all"... That's because all wily c***s think they're invincible... That Johnny Depp is starring in a film with his partner, Vanessa Paradis: "It's in preparation. It's called My American Lover. Vanessa plays the French feminist Simone de Beauvoir and I play her lover Nelson Algren, who is real macho"... That Robbie Williams has "recorded five songs with Take That... A source said: "There’s been much speculation as to what they plan to do but it will definitely be a record and not a tour - for now anyway. Fans will not be disappointed with the results"... That Simon and Ellen aren't getting on - for the purposes of television: "Ellen can't stand what she believes is Simon's cruelty toward contestants. And, we're told, Simon actually enjoys pissing Ellen off with his blistering critiques. It all started badly when Simon showed up late for Ellen's first week of American Idol taping and made her wait around. Producers separated the two - who began the season sitting side-by-side - but the tension has gotten worse"... That American Idol is currently beating the Winter Olympics, and ratings for Ellen's show "skyrocketed" last week... Every constructed cloud... That Lady GaGa is feeling reclusive during her stay in Liverpool... Digital Spy reports: "It is claimed that GaGa stayed at Liverpool's Hope Street Hotel, but kept a low profile until it was time to get ready for another night of her 'Monster Ball' tour. Discussing the moment the 23-year-old arrived at Hope Street, a source said: 'She demanded to be driven through the secret back entrance of the hotel away from snooping eyes. Later she sent a fleet of silver Mercedes to the hotel entrance and to a nearby restaurant as a decoy to fool fans and paparazzi. Meanwhile she stayed holed up in her suite enjoying tea and toast... Lady GaGa didn't want to be seen by anyone as she was having an identity crisis. She said she wasn't looking or feeling like GaGa"... She was probably wearing bottoms... That Axl Rose and Scarlett Johansson have been seeing a lot of each other while Ryan Reynolds is shooting The Green Lantern in New Orleans... The New York Post reports: "The aging rocker and sultry actress were spotted at an after-hours spot in NoHo a week ago Wednesday, the Box on Thursday, and the Boom Boom Room on Sunday until 3 a.m. On Tuesday of this week, after the curtain of A View From the Bridge, Johansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN"... That of his engagement to his boyfriend Kevin McDaid, Mark Feehily said of 'setting the date': "I'd be lying if I said there was any plans. There isn't. We're just between Sligo, Newcastle and London in a cloud of champagne and celebrations... just enjoying the moment."
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