That someone has finally produced Christiano Ronaldo's child... Seemingly a mystery American lady (who prefers to remain as such for obvious reasons) has given the footballer a son, who he plans to look after personally (probably via his mother)... Ronaldo released a statement saying: "It is with great joy and emotion that I inform I have recently become a father to a baby boy. As agreed with the baby's mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential, my son will be under my exclusive guardianship. No further information will be provided on this subject and I request everyone to fully respect my right to privacy (and that of the child) at least on issues as personal as these"... I wonder would he be exclusively looking after the child had it been a girl... They aren't as keen to learn how to hock a loogie on a footie pitch... That, of Paris Hilton's arrest in South Africa on Friday, the Mirror said: "Paris and her friend were apparently arrested in South Africa following the Holland/Brazil World Cup match after police searched their luxury coach and found local marijuana in a hangbag. The court had to decide whether the drugs belonged to Paris or her friend, t*ts-out model Jennifer Rovero. Jennifer then admitted possession and was given an £80 fine and deportation order, with the charges against Paris being dropped. Her lawyer said: 'They got the wrong blonde. Paris wasn’t in possession of anything.' Paris added over Twitter: 'It was absolutely ridiculous what I was put through for nothing. But I'm used to being scape goat'"... That Lindsay Lohan claims she was punched in the face by a waitress on her birthday... The waitress has a different story... She also claimed that she's dating a "former member of the Israeli Defence Force", one Eilat Anschel... Eilat is indeed female... That, thanks to the internet, Justin Bieber could be sent to North Korea... The BBC reports: "A public vote on the Canadian singer's My World Tour page asked users which country he should tour next, with no restrictions on the nations that could be voted on. This spurred users of imageboard website 4Chan to nominate North Korea, with the vote now turning viral. There are now almost half a million votes to send Bieber to the secretive communist nation. The contest, which ends at 1800 on 7 July, saw North Korea move from 24th to 1st place in less than two days, several thousand votes ahead of Israel. Given the fact that almost all citizens of North Korea are denied internet access and there are restrictive controls over all media, it is unlikely that any of the votes have actually come from within the country"... That Bieber hackers have also subjected his fans to porn... That Amy Winehouse has upset her neighbours, Part 243... That Lady Gaga first living person to have 10 million Facebook friends...Take that, Ashton... That Tom Jones's new album branded 'a joke' by record-label boss... That Matt Bellamy has confirmed his romance with Kate Hudson...That Keith Richards planning new tell-all book... That Sinitta has FINALLY pushed Simon Cowell over the edge... That you can see coverage of The Style Show in Caught Out...

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