That we'll get X Factor drivel out of the way first: the contestants are covering Bowie's Heroes for a charity single; Wagner's asked Mary out on a date; Cheryl - as expected - broke down while being interviewed on Piers Morgan's blubfest, saying she'll "always love Ashley" and she thought Malaria was going to kill her... That Christine Bleakly might be having some regrets about jumping ship on the BBC: "Christine is extremely frustrated that Daybreak's ratings aren't improving. She is ambitious and her reason for leaving the BBC was that she thought Daybreak would make her career more high profile. Christine is upset - but she knows that she has to stick it out for the time being. The annoying thing is that even though ratings are down, she and Adrian seem to be a lot calmer on the show and not so nervous. The biggest problem is that if she did leave Daybreak, ITV can't exactly conjure a hit primetime show for her out of thin air"... And nor should they; let's face it, she's not exactly multifaceted - which is precisely why Simon Cowell's eyeballing her for an X Factor position: "Cowell wants Bleakley to take over as host of The X Factor if Dermot O'Leary gets the presenting job on the American version of the talent show"... That Ken Paves, the hairdresser to, well, Jessica Simpson has cut ties with his most famous client: "The stylist told E News that he has not spent time with the singer for many months. 'We're both busy,' he explained. '[I've been] working on a lot of things that have kept me in town or travelling.' However, a source said that the issue is more complicated than Paves has let on: 'Ken is sick of her cycle of dumping friends when she's with a guy. She smothers guys and they dump her. Then she goes back to Ken'"... That Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting married next weekend: "The couple are set to wed next Saturday in a traditional Indian ceremony at the luxury Taj Rambagh Palace hotel in Jaipur - where they got engaged on New Year's Eve last year - in front of 85 guests. It is believed the pair - who have been dating since September 2009 - will take the entire wedding party for a tiger safari during a three-day stay at Rajasthan wilderness camp the Aman-i-Khas, before the ceremony". Of his nuptials, Brand said: "We just love each other and we want to get married in front of our friends and family and keep it very normal. It ain't about selling the pictures, it ain't about doing no pre-nup, it's just a normal thing"... That Amy Adams will star in the next Muppets movie, due for release in 2012: "The film tells the tale of the furry puppets, including Miss Piggy and Kermit, working on a movie to save a studio. Chris Cooper is also heading for a role playing a “greedy villain” who wants to purchase the film studio only to tear it down and get to the oil lying underneath it, according to The Hollywood Reporter". That, of setting fire to Chicago's Playboy Mansion, Keith Richards said: "[Saxophonist] Bobby [Keys] and I played it a little far when we set fire to the bathroom. Well, we didn't, the dope did. Not our fault. Bobby and I were just sitting in the john, comfortable, nice john, sitting on the floor, and we've got the doc's bag and we're just smorgasbording. 'I wonder what these do?' Bong. And at a certain point . . . talk about hazy, or foggy, Bobby says, 'It's smoky in here.' And I'm looking at Bobby and can't see him. And the drapes are smoldering away; everything was just about to go off big-time... There was a thumping on the door, waiters and guys in black suits bringing buckets of water. They get the door open and we're sitting on the floor, our pupils very pinned. I said, 'We could have done that ourselves. How dare you burst in on our private affair?'"... That, of 17-year-old Taylor Momsen posing on the front cover of Revolver brandishing firearms in undies and hooker heels, the Parents Television Council said: "By posing in this way, with guns in hand, she is making guns and violence seem sexy, and contributing to the already epidemic problem of kids’ overexposure to hyper-sexualized media content, which has been linked to depression, eating disorders, and sexual risk-taking"... That Momsen recently said she had "no interest in being a role model" to her fans... That of appearing on South Park depicted as the attached, "getting socked in the face after trying to rape Cartman", Snooki Tweeted: "snooki want smoosh smoosh. im going to have nightmares tonight lmao!!! we've officially made it. goodnite my bitches"... That, in an interview with Harper's Bazaar, in which she's meant to be peddling her new Fred Perry line, Amy Winehouse said of her style: "I just dress like... I'm an old black man. Sorry! Like I'm an old Jewish black man. I just dress like it's still the '50s"... That the usual Landan red carpet fodder turned up to, eh, the Indesit Launderette launch party... I too am confused, particularly by this get up. You would think some confusion would arise courtesy of Gabriella Climi's costume change, but even that pales in comparison to this...