That, in happenings not-at-all contrived purely for promotional purposes; Jordan is planning to file for divorce next Thursday - what would've been herself and Alex's first wedding anniversary... Nawwwww... The Mirror reports: "Apparently Alex finally agreed to the divorce during a 15 minute meeting on Monday. A meeting which, according to a (crap) friend, 'started well... but as soon as Alex started to put his point of view across she erupted. She stood up and turned on the telly while he was talking and behaved like a spoilt child.' That might be because Jordan reportedly wanted Alex to take a big cash settlement on the condition that he wouldn't talk to the press about their marriage, but he's clearly keen to blab: 'He has so far refused to be gagged,' adds the mate who also seems to be a bit of a talker. 'He'd rather take a smaller amount financially from the marriage with a view to profit from it in the future'"... That Lindsay Lohan is being accused of theft again: "Lindsay is being accused of stealing high-end jewelry, including a necklace. A search warrant was requested Tuesday at the Airport Court to search Lindsay's house for the item of jewelry in question"... That Charlie Sheen's parents now want a conservatorship over him... That things are starting to get really ugly for Halle Berry... That her camp has retaliated by spilling the following to TMZ: "Berry's baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry, called Halle the 'N' word, and routinely demeaned her with other vulgarities ... We're told, in addition to calling her the 'N' word, he would also call her a 'f**king bitch' and other expletives. And the vulgarities are not limited to face-to-face confrontations. There are vulgar text messages as well. As one source told TMZ, 'He constantly demeaned her. It was awful.' Gabriel's reps have not returned our calls"... That Blake Lively is the world's most desirable woman... That David Beckham has been rapping to Victoria's bump... That some dude from Desperate Housewives, one Josh Henderson, will play John Ross - in the updated version of - yes - DALLAS! The mainstay of Dallas was always rivalry (and booze, and shoulder pads, and dream sequences), therefore it will feature heavily between 'John Ross' and 'Bobby' and 'Pam's son, 'Christopher' (remember him? The freckly kid who said nothing, probably 'cause he was trying to get used to having his father back in his life)... That Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, and Patrick Duffy will all reprise their roles... That Justin Lee Collins has split from his wife of 15 years... He's currently enjoying a sun holiday with his new girlfriend, much to Channel Five's joy:" In 2009, Justin signed a 'golden handcuffs' deal with Channel Five after co-hosting ‘The Friday Night Project’ with Alan Carr on rival network Channel 4. His latest show, Turning Japanese, sees him explore alternative Japanese culture, including being served drinks by a monkey and fondling a life-size doll"... That David Blaine had to coerce a snow plough into giving himself and his heavily pregnant fiance to a hospital in NYC: "Guinochet, a 24-year-old French model (but of course), went into labor last Wednesday night, just as another heavy storm crippled the city with 19 inches of snow. When Guinochet started to have contractions, illusionist Blaine, 37, jumped into action, heading out of his Village apartment, hoping to conjure up a cab. But none appeared... Finally, a snow plow run by a private contractor came around the corner, and Blaine flagged it down. The driver scooped up the couple and gave them a ride to the hospital. By night's end, Guinochet had given birth to a healthy baby girl. The couple aren't ready yet to reveal their baby's name, but a rep for the lovebirds, who confirmed they had to ride to an unnamed Manhattan hospital on a snow plow, said, "Mom and baby are doing fine"... That it's not every day you get see Dame Helen Mirren straddling a motorbike... Those who got to enjoy the spectacle in the flesh included Greg from Masterw**k; John Hurt; Gemma Chan; Andrea Riseborough; the dude from DropThe Dead Donkey; Cherie Lunghi; and Suggs...

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