British authorities have a brand new weapon in their arsenal in the fight against piracy on the high seas: Britney Spears.
Those of you who have seen the new Tom Hanks starrer Captain Phillips will no doubt have a heightened sense of exactly how dangerous the threat of international piracy can be, especially off the coast of Somalia where dozens of ships are subject to attempted piracy each year. But British naval authorities have now discovered that the sounds of Britney Spears are among the most successful ways to ward off any potential pirates off the cost of east Africa.
Merchant naval officer Rachel Owens explained more to Metro: "Her songs were chosen by the security team because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can't stand western culture or music, making Britney's hits perfect. As soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney, they move on as quickly as they can."
Yep, blaring out 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' and 'Oops! I Did It Again' is literally proving the most fruitful form of defence against hostile aggression on the Indian Ocean.
Further reports that Britney's upcoming eighth album Britney Jean has been developed as a weapon in a lab by United States special forces remain unsubstantiated at the time of writing.