I saw it coming but when it happened I still couldn't believe it. Robert De Niro has made no qualms about cashing in on his mob movie roles in the past (Analyze This/That) but one scene in Luc Besson's black comedy highlights how far the mighty have fallen. Holed up in a small French town De Niro's 'writer' is invited to a screening of an American movie to give his American perspective on it. But when the movie club receives a different movie by accident, one directed by Martin Scorsese, he is more than happy to indulge the audience in a Q&A. You can put your head in your hands now.
If Analyze This was a comedic take on The Sopranos, The Family is a rip of Sopranos spinoff Lilyhammer, minus the tongue-in-cheek tone. De Niro is a former mob boss who has been in the witness protection programme in France for a number of years. After being moved around because he can't help being his old self - beating up anyone who looks at him sideways - De Niro, wife Pfeiffer, daughter Agron and son John D'Leo find themselves in a sleepy ville. Scolded by his FBI handler Tommy Lee Jones to behave, De Niro does his best but wants to scratch the old itch when the house's running water is an ugly brown and he believes the town plumber is trying to shake him down...
The Family wants to be a black comedy but can't marry the gags - De Niro in a self-referential mood - and the violence - the family is hunted down by his former pals back home. They feel like two different movies, neither of them very good. De Niro doesn't get out of first gear - he can just about get away with it as he is trying to suppress rage and act normal – but the script doesn't have anything interesting for him, Pfeiffer (blows up a supermarket because of snooty shop assistants), Agron (a crush on a fellow student) and D'Leo (sets about bringing the school to heel) to do. It's just dull hanging around for the inevitable shootout (it's a Besson movie - no spoiler there) when the mob do eventually track him down.
It might be fun spotting the odd references that crop up - A De Niro line from The Untouchables is mangled - and while getting the references make us feel smart (always nice, that) there's no getting around the fact that this is poor movie and that De Niro is now bad as long as he's been good.