On last night's Late Late Show, Ed Sheeran revealed that he'd written a Bond theme song "for about three years, just in case."

Sheeran went on, explaining that this supposed song was "good," and that if ever he was called upon to join the ranks of artists who've committed a song to film history, it was already written and ready to go. All well and good, except nobody's ever asked him - and nobody ever will, as far as we can see.

The history of artists who've had Bond songs is almost as rich as the also-rans. For example, Johnny Cash had a song written for Thunderball that was eventually discarded in favour of Tom Jones' ridiculously over-the-top song. Alice Cooper had a version of The Man With The Golden Gun ready for inclusion, so to did Blondie for For Your Eyes Only. More recently, names like Pulp and Radiohead have been replaced by Sheryl Crow and Sam Smith.

The precise reason as to why the producers selected one particular song over the other has never been fully realised. Cooper claims that he submitted the song a day late, and the producers went for Lulu instead. In most cases, it seems clear that the prevailing trends of the day dictate which way it's heading. Duran Duran were one of the biggest bands in the world when they wrote did the song for A View To A Kill, the same with a-Ha when they did The Living Daylights.

There's no accounting, really, for how Bond songs are chosen. Chris Cornell, for example, seemed to be chosen at random for Casino Royale, whilst the utterly forgettable pairing of Alicia Keys and Jack White for Quantum Of Solace resulted in one of the worst Bond songs in years. Only Adele's triumphant, nostalgic Skyfall managed to correct the trend of bland and tiresome Bond themes - before they went right back to it with Sam Smith's whinging Writing's On The Wall.

Given Ed Sheeran's utter lack of imagination in his musical output and his ability to ingratiate himself in the popular consciousness, there's every reason to think he'll be asked to do the next Bond song - but he won't even come close to being a serious contender, simply because he doesn't have anything in the way of the necessary allure or attitude. His whole schtick is that he's a completely normal, average, unpretentious singer-songwriter with a guitar. Look back over the artists who've been selected through the years to do Bond songs - even the bad ones.

Each and every one of them have some kind of edge to them, some kind of flair and flourish that provides them with the requisite skills needed to make, if not an effective one, at least an attempt to make an effective Bond song.