In the movie industry, sequels are unavoidable if the original was in any way good or popular. Not to mention prequels, reboots or sidequels (yes, they're a thing), 2013 alone had Die Hard 5, The Last Exorcism 2, G.I. Joe 2, Scary Movie 5, Iron Man 3, Star Trek 2, The Hangover 3, Fast & Furious 6, Kick-Ass 2, Despicable Me 2, Grown Ups 2, Wolverine 2, The Smurfs 2, Red 2, Percy Jackson 2, Insidious 2, Riddick 3, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2, Thor 2, Anchorman 2, The Hobbit 2, The Hunger Games 2… the list goes on and on.
But sometimes a great original film gets a sequel, and sometimes that sequel is just plain awful. And sometimes while watching that awful sequel, we the audience think up a multitude of ways to make it a much, MUCH better film. To that end, here are what we think are ten of the worst sequels to great movies, and how we would have made them better!
SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL (1997)
The Original: Fast and exciting, with a very simple premise, if the bus goes below 50mph, it goes BOOM, killing everyone on board. Simple, effective, brilliant.
The Sequel: A bit of an oxymoron, setting a movie called "Speed" on one of the slowest modes of transport known to man, a cruise liner. One of the most boring, inert action movies ever made.
How To Make It Better: Very, very simple. Double the action by setting the movie on a double-decker bus! Think of the all the nail-biting scenes as Sandra Bullock doesn't know the bus's exact height, and if it will make it under a low bridge! Eeeep!
BATMAN & ROBIN (1997)
The Original: Dark and gloomy with the series best Bruce Wayne (if not the best Batman) played by Michael Keaton, and an even darker and gloomier sequel Batman Returns, under the warped eye of Tim Burton.
The Sequel: Things began to go a little off the rails when Joel Schumacher took over for Batman Forever, but the nippletastic, neon day-glo, accidentally-one-of-the-funniest-films-ever-made Batman & Robin really needs to be seen to be believed. Arnie playing Mr Freeze, shouting "Ice to see you!" at George Clooney is just … mesmerizing.
How To Make It Better: In the opening scene, Mr Freeze sets off a bomb that kills Robin, Batgirl, Alfred, Commissioner Gordon and that really annoying news reporter lady. That way we're clear of the most annoying characters in the movie, and it sets up a return to the dark and gloomy Batman that we know and love.
JAWS: THE REVENGE (1987)
The Original: Spielberg created the blockbuster as we know it today, merging action and horror that would go on to influence Jurassic Park and the like heavily. One of the most entertaining movies ever made.
The Sequel: To be fair, Jaws II and Jaws 3-D were also pretty bad, but they don't hold a candle to the shocking awfulness of the fourth instalment. We think that The Revenge part of the title isn't referencing the shark, but the film-maker against cinemagoers for some unknown slight. Whatever it was, we're sorry!
How To Make It Better: Stick with us here, cos this is going to sound pretty crazy… A massive series of tornadoes strike off the coast of Los Angeles, whipping up Jaws and his whole family, and flinging them inland to kill people on the streets… What? It's already been done? DAMMIT!
BASIC INSTINCT 2 (2006)
The Original: A sexy, violent psychological thriller that properly introduced the world to the greatness that is (was?) Sharon Stone. Not high art by any means, but absolutely fantastic and what it does… and what that does is sex, violence and effing with your head.
The Sequel: In a perfect world, someone would put Basic Instinct 2 on a double-bill with Showgirls, it's THAT kind of bad. Accidentally hilarious, with zero sexual chemistry by anyone on screen, watching it back to back with the original makes you think that Sharon Stone didn't even realise the two films were related.
How To Make It Better: Sharon Stone's character should've been a consultant by the police to help find and track down an actual serial killer who was basing their murders on her novels, and then she starts to have sex with him, and it gets all mind-twisty.
SON OF THE MASK (2005)
The Original: Jim Carrey puts his rubber faced antics to good use for this hi-NRG action comedy, in which we all caught that first glimpse of Cameron Diaz. A good comic-book adaptation before being a good comic-book adaptation was, like, a thing.
The Sequel: It's one thing for a comedy about the god of mischief not to make a lot of sense, but it's another, unforgivable thing altogether when said comedy forgets to be… ye know… funny! Alan Cumming is no replacement for Jim Carrey, and more special effects are no replacement for more jokes.
How To Make It Better: Stick Cameron Diaz behind the mask. Donezo!
BLUES BROTHERS 2000 (1998)
The Original: A shoot-off from Saturday Night Live characters, The Blues Brothers is pretty much just one long, funny chase movie, occasionally interrupted by some great musical scenes featuring the likes of Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles and James Brown. What's not to love?
The Sequel: First off, releasing a movie with "2000" in the title, in the year 1998? Who thought that was a good idea? And secondly, it got the music part right, but forgot about the funny part, or making the chase exciting in any way. If there was ever a movie that absolutely didn't warrant a sequel, it was this, especially considering the sequel it was eventually given.
How To Make It Better: There is no making this better. The only "better" is to not make it at all.
INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008)
The Original: One of cinemas greatest heroes, filled from beginning to end with memorable characters, dialogue, scenes and sequences, Raiders Of The Lost Ark is impossible not to love, and if you don't love it, then we don't want to know you.
The Sequel: Some people have issue with Temple Of Doom, but others love it. The Last Crusade was mostly a return to form. And then there's The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, a movie so bad that it got an entire episode of South Park dedicated to its wrongful existence.
How To Make It Better: There was a fantastic videogame released back in 1992 called Indiana Jones & The Fate Of Atlantis. It was very, very good, so there was already a great Indiana Jones story waiting to be made into a movie. One that didn't involve "inter-dimensional aliens".
ALIEN: RESURRECTION (1997)
The Original: Pretty much a haunted house movie that happened to be set in space, one of the best science fiction movies ever made, followed up by the arguably better Aliens. What could possible go wrong?
The Sequel: Alien 3 was a hot mess, although there were still moments of greatness in there, buried beneath the rubble of David Fincher's artistic vision. Resurrection jumped the series forward 200 years, made Ripley a clone, and the alien were pretty much extinct, except they got cloned too, and… you know what? We're even bored just talking about it.
How To Make It Better: Ripley is a complete paranoid schizophrenic after her constant run-ins with the xenomorphs, and while on a routine space mission, a random electrical problem convinces her that the aliens are back, on board the ship, and everyone else on board is infected, and she goes all homicidal, hallucinating aliens everywhere. But there would actually be NO aliens at all in the whole movie! Also, take a hit out on whoever wrote the scripts to the two Alien VS Predator movies.
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009)
The Original: Okay, maybe labelling the original Transformers movie as "great" is a bit of a stretch, but it was enjoyable in a way that most other Michael Bay films tend not to be. There was a Back To The Future vibe to proceedings, which is by no means a bad thing.
The Sequel: With a plot practically impossible to follow in any discernible way – there was something about some bad guy just floating in space, and other old ones buried in Egypt, and Shia LaBeouf goes to Transformers heaven – this was just an excuse to watch Megan Fox run away from explosions in slo-motion. Which isn't something we'd normally want to be complaining about, but here we are.
How To Make It Better: They went some way towards making it better with threequel Dark Of The Moon, and possibly better again with next year's Age Of Extinction, but we will still give one piece of advice. Back that camera WAAAAY up so we can get a good look at just what the heck is going on!
BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 (2000)
The Original: Mega low-budget "found footage" horror that managed to be both quite original and powerfully scary, simply put The Blair Witch Project is one of the most influential horror movies ever made…
The Sequel: …except that it doesn't seem to have had any influence over its own sequel. Ditching the found footage format for more conventional methods. We all know that horror movie sequels tend to be the greatest sufferers of decreasing returns, but this was something else. Boring, incoherent, and not a single scare to be found anywhere.
How To Make It Better: Turn the house from the end of the first movie into a tourist attraction, set up CCTV cameras in the rooms and parts of the surrounding woods, and watch as hell breaks loose. Come on now Hollywood, this is really simple stuff here!
Are there any other bad sequels to good originals you think you could improve upon? Comment below!