He's not John Wick, he's St. Nick.
With the year we've all had, watching a movie where Mel Gibson plays Santa Claus and gets access to US military hardware to fight off an assassin hired by a character called 'Little Turd' is what we all deserve.
Yes, the movie's title is 'Fatman', yes, this is really a movie that was made, and yes, Mel Gibson's beard was all real too. Directed by indie types Ian and Eshom Helms, 'Fatman' sees a weary Santa Claus forced into a partnership with the US as his business goes into decline.
All while this is happening, however, he has to fight over an assassin - played by Walton Goggins - who's been hired by a 12-year old who was given a lump of coal and has sworn revenge against Santa Claus.
The reality with a concept this out there is that it's either going to be excellent or awful. There is just no in-between with this. And you know what? We're hoping it's excellent. We need this. It's so stupid, it's so needlessly obvious a movie, that we're just hoping for it to be good.
We need this. 'Fatman' has a release date of December 4th. If you wish it into existence, it'll come true.
Here's the trailer.