How would that actually go down if Batman was brought before a judge? How do you plead? "I'm Batman." And then he throws a smoke-bomb and flies off out the building to that Hans Zimmer music. Man, that'd be awesome.

Anyway, one movie fan and criminal justice writer in the US decided to sit down, watch Batman Begins and analyse how many crimes the Dark Knight was guilty of throughout the course of the film. He counted at least fifty-two criminal violations and estimated that Batman would be fined over €300,000. That's not even counting the possible lawsuits or that bit at the end of the film when the train smashes off the rails and kills Ra's Al Ghul. Oh yeah, spoilers. But come on, it's been out for years. It's your fault.

 

Here's the list of crimes committed:

 

Criminal trespass » Wayne sneaks into the Gotham Police Department, ski mask and all.

Threat of violence » Wayne holds a stapler to the back of Sgt. Jim Gordon’s head, giving the impression of a gun.

Failure to stop at the command of an officer » He keeps running from police headquarters after Gordon tells him to stop.

Ten counts of assault » Wayne, unprovoked, assaults Falcone and nine of his henchmen.

Ten counts of unlawful detention » Batman then ties them up.

Assault against an officer » After yanking Flass through the air, Wayne lets go of Flass and drops him to the ground.

Aggravated assault » Wayne forces one of Scarecrow’s goons to pull the trigger on the gun in his hand, shooting a second goon in the foot.

Six counts of assault » He takes down the rest of the goons.

Two counts of possession of an explosive device » Wayne has at least two Bat-grenades on him…

Two counts of the use of an explosive device » … which he then uses on two doors.

Two counts of assault on a peace officer » Wayne drives the Tumbler over a police car that has two policemen inside.

Failure to respond to an officer’s signal to stop » Wayne keeps on rolling when the police try to pull him over.

Reckless driving » Wayne willfully breaks more than three moving violations —at least 11, in fact — as he speeds home.

Four counts of criminal mischief » The Tumbler crashes through news stands, a pane glass window, the gate arm of a parking structure and into two parked cars.

Two counts of possession of an explosive device » There are at least two missiles in the Tumbler…

Two counts of the use of an explosive device » … which he uses to destroy part of the wall of the parking structure.

Five counts of criminal mischief » Wayne damages two roofs, a median, gates and a support pillar with the Tumbler.

Assault against a police officer » Wayne releases spike strips for the police car to run across and flip.

Four counts of possession of an explosive device » Wayne has at least four Bat-grenades in the Batcave.

Criminal mischief » Wayne crashes through a railing and wall with the Tumbler on his way to The Narrows.

Leaving the scene of an accident » Wayne keeps going after crashing into the railing and wall.

Two counts of criminal mischief » Wayne crashes through a window of the train and breaks the front console.

Six counts of possession of an explosive device » There are at least six missiles in the Tumbler, shown when Gordon uses them to destroy the train track.

Use of an explosive device » Wayne uses a Bat-grenade on the back of the train car.